"Bye, Mister! Have a nice day!"
"Ugh, kids."
"You don't like them, Salter?"
"How can I? They don't like me."
"Well, you're always dressed in black."
"Black is stylish."
"Black is scary."
"Well, maybe I want to be scary."
"Are you sure you're not just sulking?"
"Don't distract me. Hey, Galter?"
"What is it, Not-Saber?"
"Fir- why is your face-"
"Don't ask."
"Ok... First of all..."
Salter got close and slapped Gilgamesh in the face.
"Ow!"
"That's for lying to us."
"Technically I wasn't lying, I just didn't tell you."
"Do you want another one?"
"No."
"Listen, I had a conversation with the other Artoria, and she has agreed for us to stay here."
"Obviously, she had to admit she couldn't resist me."
"No, no, that's not the takeaway here. The takeaway is that you have to behave."
"Oh, I am behaving quite royally, it's my wife-to-be that's acting strange."
"She's not your wife-to-be, she hates you, let's be real for a second. However, she has very graciously and generously accepted to tolerate your behaviour with moderation, something I personally would not do if I were in her place. Now, she's going to come in, and we're going to dictate the conditions of our stay here, and I want no comments from your part, and I will ensure that she won't hurt you."
"This is all ridiculous, but if my Saber came up with this little game, then I shall play it."
"Whatever... come in."
"It's nice to see you again, Saber."
"It's never nice to see you, Archer."
"Now, now, let's try to move forward. Saber, do you accept the fact that Gilgamesh might make a move on you?"
"I accept that he's scum."
"And Gilgamesh, do you accept that she's likely to decline your proposals?"
"I accept that she's willing to play hard-to-get."
"And how often will you make a move on her?"
"Always."
"And how often are you willing to receive his proposal, Saber?"
"Never."
"This is not a middle ground guys. Somebody has to give in."
"It's not going to be me."
"You can count me out."
"Ok... how about you can make a maximum of one move per day, Gilgamesh?"
" That little?"
"That much?"
"Please... it doesn't have to be long... just hear him out for a few seconds and then say no... or yes, I don't care."
"... fine."
"Well, if Saber is fine with this, so am I."
"Good, now shake your hands to sign the deal."
Saber walked up to Gilgamesh and shook his hand.
"I'm glad you came around, Saber. And since you're practically already in my arms, why don't you-"
"No."
"Ok, you used up today's try. You can try again tomorrow."
"Oh, come on! That doesn't count!"
"It does."
"Don't be a sore loser, Goldie!"
"I won't lose! You know what? Fine! I don't need that many tries. I'll prove the world how you really feel, Saber, fair and square. I'll win at your own game."
"You're free to try that, Archer. Now, I'll be going to have dinner. Oh, Mordred..."
"Y-Yes Father?"
"Would you... would you mind joining me for a chat after dinner?"
"Oh... I... I... no, I wouldn't mind that... no, for sure... yeah, yeah we can do that."
"You don't have to if you wish otherwise..."
"No, no, I want it, I mean, I don't mind."
"Good..."
"Great..."
"I'll be going now."
"See... you... later..."
"Well, that went great!"
"Did it?"
"Well, it went better than the average conversation between me and my Mordred, that lackey..."
"... I don't know if I'm ready..."
"Hey, Mordry, if you don't feel comfortable talking to her, then you're more than in need of a conversation."
"I guess..."
"I'm sorry to interrupt guys... but can we please talk while walking to the cafeteria? I'm starving..."
"She sure loves food... I guess she really is different from Father... he always ate with moderation..."
At the cafeteria...
"Can I have another hot dog?"
"Miss Artoria, that's the 10th... are you in some kind of competition with that other girl?"
"How many has she eaten?"
"12..."
"Then two more hot dogs!"
"..."
"Your father sure likes to eat..."
"Apparently."
"Well, this is all way too quiet, Salty is busy eating, and Goldie has been awfully silent. What are you doing, Goldie?"
"Quiet. I'm thinking."
"Who would have guessed..."
At that moment, a thousand ideas all rushed at the same time in Gilgamesh's head, ideas of how to conquer Saber, dates, lines, situations, answers, counters, all of that moved through his head.
"Man, what a bore! I need to find someone who can match my personality... hey there, do we know each other?"
"Hello, well, I believe we saw each other earlier this afternoon in the classroom. I'm Jeanne."
"Nero, a pleasure to meet you."
"Nero as in..."
"Yeah, the Roman emperor."
"Oh, ok."
"You don't seem surprised."
"Second time something unusual happens, it's not unusual anymore. And I met Artoria before you."
"Ah, I see. Well, you're Jeanne as in..."
"The French Saint, yes."
"Wow, you're not exactly how I imagined you..."
"How did you imagine me? Ugly, with rotting teeth and big covering clothes, hehe..."
"I mean... you are supposed to have been a peasant in the Dark Ages... well, I guess some people just win the genetic lottery... I can't be the only one."
"You mustn't be surprised, I did work the land with my family under the Sun for many years, so I'm used to more comfortable outfits."
"Oh, naturally, I'm not judging. It's just... I thought a saint would have been a bit more..."
"Special?"
"Boring."
"Then I hope I'm not a great saint in that regard."
"Hehe, I like you, let's have a chat later on. I could use a saint as a friend."
"And I could use an emperor as a friend."
Suddenly, Gilgamesh fell down his chair.
"Sacré bleu, is he alright?"
"He's fine, I think his brain just overheated."
After dinner, Jeanne and Nero brought the kids to their rooms, Salter slept heavily, having eaten more than enough, and Gilgamesh found himself with a splitting headache.
Saber stood just outside the structure, staring at the moon, as a cold breeze caressed her hair.
Mordred moved slowly and indecisively next to her.
"Hey..."
"Hello..."
"Would you like to have a chat?"