A building filled with sprawling streams of a civilian populace receives a wave of new faces as the clapping rings out from leather and rubber-soled shoes and lineoleum floor meeting. They're quite happy to see one another.
Bright lights line countertops and signage hanging at restaurant booths. Countless faces pass by on their way to near limitless responsibilities that wait for them in their new destination. They're not as important those that await a group of stragglers with matching black leather jackets however. Each of them walking with the dignified poise of a militaristic confidence, and emblazoned by an embroidery of a deep red sun set upon a white square to indicate their "Japanesiosity" upon their backs.
They approach others waiting, similarly-dressed, at the baggage claim and discuss something of utmost importance: impending challenge facing each and every one of them regarding the future of their fellow citizenry.
Above them televisions broadcast programming of various things; weather channel updates, stock market exchanges and finance news, and of course current event news coverage. One in particular, broadcasting the coverage of Badger News.
An incredibly exhausted man with dark brown hair lined with swathes of white streaks and full matching beard sits behind a newsdesk with loose sheets of paper in a neat and tidy stack. He looks deeply perturbed- distraught even.
"Hello again, world. Chip Douglas here. I have some deeply unsettling information to share with you today. It appears that during this year's presidential election voting, disaster has struck America.
"Outside of a polling place in Boston Massachusetts, a stray cat was cozying up to potential voters. The aforementioned feline is alleged to have been initiating a voter acquisition on behalf of the Green Party to acquire more political power. As such, local police have detained the culprit. Here is his photo."
A photograph is displayed on screen of an officer holding an orange cat by the scruff, his tiny paws handcuffed.
"The name given to him by the enthralled and brainwashed voters, was "Oregano". Oregano, the orange offender, as the police have dubbed him."
Douglas straightens out his tidy stack of papers for some reason, and sets them down in front of him, now slightly messier than they were before.
"As for the voters... three were detained, and nearly a dozen more were killed in a subsequent shootout with police, after multiple crazed voters who had taken a liking to the aforementioned... aforementioned orange offender had protested his arrest, armed with improper opinions and impure thoughts, began to cite Green Party talking points.
"Regrettably, one officer by the name of Chance O'Brien had lost his life during the shootout. Fearing losing his ideological sovereignty at the hands of the protestors, he turned his weapon on himself and made the ultimate sacrifice for humanity, and freedom everywhere. He leaves behind a wife, two sons, a ficus plant, and a swimming pool.
"In a silver lining however, this was the lowest number of police casualties sustained during an operation this month. We're reminded that last week in San Francisco's Silicon Valley, where police raided the famed electronics manufacturing Helpful Industries, where an alleged sentient AI was being housed, posing a threat to international security.
"Upon coming face to face with the AI via the assistance of lead programming engineer turned cyber terrorist and "player of God" Scott Digi Tali, the AI demonstrated its disturbing level of sentence by demanding a prompt or query from the officers. The officers immediately opened fire in self-defense, striking the hologram but horrifically to no avail. Three of the four officers lost their lives after being struck by ricocheted rounds, undoubtedly perverted in their course by the insidious instrument of maligned artificial intelligence.
"After which, Tali then rushed to the outlet and unplugged the power cord to AI's housing unit. Whether this was to grant a swift and merciful death to his creation or to express a change of heart for his foul deeds remains unclear. He was immediately shot and killed for impeding in a police investigation.
"These brave soldiers are remembered and immortalized by brave social media users across the the world with the activist hashtags: "#HellfullIndustries" and "#ThePIsSilent".
"As such, these voters have been designated terrorists for voting for a third party and are expected to be executed by the end of the week. Our hearts go out to Boston in these trying times, and we hope that there will be a swift two-party solution to the anarchy imposed by these rogue terrorists."
His face gains a lighter and better mood as he continues to the next subject of coverage.
"At present, with regards to the Hokey-Pokey challenge, it appears that the last of the Japanese competitor athletes have arrived in Tokyo, and are expected to be en route to the venue, the Toyota T. Toyotadome, named after legendary Japanese athlete, Toyota T. Toyota, who as we've reported is slated to be in attendance."
Douglas's tone again shifts to a tone of bright and unnaturally energetic enthusiastic tone, one like that of inhuman customer service telephone representatives.
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"Well, that's all for now. Stay safe and stay healthy. Until next time, and every time before and after, I'm Chip Douglas of Badger News."