Prompt: The 20th Wizard King Edward Avalanche was both the pinnacle of a Magic Knight and a man of the cloth. Asta wants to do something similar, Noelle can't let that pass.
—
Noelle has had run-ins with devils, a dragon god, ancient curses, and one very eccentric mushroom mage.
But nothing—nothing—could've prepared her for this.
It started as a normal morning in the Black Bulls' base.
She walked into the common room, groggy, hair slightly frizzed from sleep, only to find Asta praying over his breakfast.
Hands together. Eyes closed. Smiling like he was chatting with the actual heavens.
"Thank you, O Lord, for this toast, and for the strength to do fifty push-ups before it cooled."
What.
She blinked. "Asta… who are you talking to?"
He opened one eye. "The divine, Sister Noelle."
…Sister?
He grinned brightly. "I started practicing morning devotionals again! It really helps me focus."
She stared. "Since when are you religious?"
"Oh, always," he said cheerfully. "I mean, I was raised in a church."
Right. Right, the orphanage. She knew that.
But still—Asta? Religious? The same guy who bodyslammed a demon?
She took a seat across from him, curiosity rising. "So what, you believe in the gods?"
He tilted his head. "Of course! My lack of magic is a divine test. I have to prove I can rise above it."
Oh no. Oh no no no.
He shoved a boiled egg in his mouth. "Also, I'm thinking of becoming a priest."
There it is.
Her fork slipped out of her hand. "A what?!"
"A priest!" he repeated, absolutely beaming. "Isn't that cool? Like Father Orsi! He's the reason I want to help people. I've been studying scripture and everything."
Noelle's soul briefly left her body.
"You want to… become a priest."
"Yeah! If I can become both Wizard King and a spiritual leader, I could help people's hearts and protect their lives!"
He said it like it was obvious. Like it made perfect sense. Like he hadn't just punched her in the heart with a robe and rosary.
She laughed nervously. "But, uh, priests can't… you know."
Asta blinked. "Can't what?"
"Date. Or—marry! Or—hold hands inappropriately!"
He nodded solemnly. "Exactly. That's why I've taken an unofficial vow of celibacy. Just in case."
Noelle made a strangled noise.
"You what?!"
"Yeah! I figured if I'm serious about it, I should start early, right? I call it my Celibacy Prep Arc!"
Noelle needed to lie down.
Or scream.
Or set something on fire. Well water, she was a Silva not a Vermillion.
Across the room, Luck popped his head out of the wall—literally through the wall. "Hey, Noelle's face just turned purple. Is she dying?"
Magna wheeled in on a chair (for some strange reason that Noelle couldn't grasp, nor cared to grasp right now), sipping from a bowl of cereal. "Nah, that's just what happens when someone finds out their crush is gonna marry the Lord."
"I do not have a crush!" she shrieked.
Asta frowned. "Oh no, Noelle, are you heartbroken for someone else? That's okay! I can pray with you!"
Someone else?! Is he serious?!
Vanessa walked in, yawning and hungover. "Who's heartbroken now?"
"Apparently Asta's becoming a priest," Magna explained, pointing at the poor idiot.
Vanessa blinked. "Oh no. The celibate ones are always the hottest."
Noelle smacked her forehead.
This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
She glanced at Asta—still smiling, still innocent, still aggressively handsome.
Of all the rotten luck. Of all the people to fall for. The one who decided romance was off the menu. Permanently.
Gauche entered the room.
"She's doomed," he muttered. "She'll never seduce him now."
"I'M NOT TRYING TO SEDUCE—"
Zora appeared from nowhere, flipping a coin. "Not yet, anyway."
Grey fainted in solidarity.
Asta looked around, confused. "Did I miss something?"
"Yeah," Magna said, laughing. "You missed the entire point of this scene."
Noelle stood up.
She needed air.
She needed time.
She needed holy water. Maybe an exorcism. For herself.
She stormed out of the room, fists clenched, face red enough to be mistaken for a tomato in heat.
And behind her, Asta called out, "Have a blessed day, Sister Noelle!"
She screamed into the hallway.
—
It started with research.
Serious, scholarly, deeply important research.
"How to seduce a man of God."
She shifted through book after book, perusing text after text in the corner of the base library with a blanket over her head like a gremlin.
The results were… unhelpful. And slightly concerning.
Vanessa passed by, glanced at the scene, raised one eyebrow, and whispered, "Try a backless dress and a good wine."
Noelle threw a dictionary at her.
That night, she stood in front of her mirror, arms crossed, scowling at her reflection.
"This is ridiculous," she muttered. "I'm a royal. I've commanded sea dragons. I will not be defeated by one church boy."
She paused. Then pointed at herself. "You will ruin his vows."
—
Attempt One: The Wet Shirt Disaster
Step one: Classic romance move. Accidental water spill. Cute, clumsy damsel moment. Seduction level: subtle.
Execution: Terrible.
Noelle filled a glass. Walked toward Asta. Purposely tripped.
And immediately forgot that she controls water.
And has gotten pretty good at it.
Instead of a dainty splash, the entire contents of the glass hovered midair like an awkward jellyfish.
Then it exploded in all directions.
Asta, of course, got hit full in the face.
"Oh no! Are you okay?!" she shrieked, flailing to dab him with a towel.
He blinked, drenched. "You saved the glass though. Nice water control!"
Noelle nearly cried.
Vanessa cackled from the couch. "Next time try wine."
—
Attempt Two: The Cooking Incident
Step two: Food is the way to the heart. Bake something sweet. Act cute. Be domestic. Easy.
Noelle had never cooked in her life.
She tried cookies.
The kitchen caught fire.
Asta ran in mid-explosion and extinguished it with a wet mop. "Are you alright?! What happened?!"
She held up a tray of charcoal briquettes that used to be cookies. "I was… trying to surprise you."
He looked genuinely touched. "You tried to bake for me? That's so thoughtful!"
Yes. Perfect. Say you'll marry me and forget the priest thing.
He bit into one.
And immediately passed out.
Luck poked the cookie. "That thing's harder than my abs." And I barely have any.
—
Attempt Three: The Classic Damsel
Step three: Fake danger. Let him rescue you. Create a moment. Bonus points for dramatic eye contact.
She set the scene: training field, mid-evening, soft lighting (thanks to Luck). She made herself fall off a small ledge—very minor fall.
"Asta!" she cried. "Help!"
He turned, horrified.
Ran at full speed.
Caught her like a sack of potatoes. "I got you, Sister Noelle!"
"Thank you," she whispered, fluttering her eyelashes.
He gently set her down, pulled out his prayer beads, and said, "Let us thank the Lord for your safety."
She actually screamed this time.
—
Attempt Four: The Modest Temptress
Okay. Subtle wasn't working.
Maybe... modest seduction.
New plan: wear something church-appropriate, but still cute. Innocent, yet alluring. A modest but pretty dress.
She borrowed one of Sister Lily's old church gowns.
She walked into the main hall like an angelic bride from a fever dream.
Asta saw her and immediately gasped.
"Noelle! You look just like Sister Lily did when she preached the harvest sermon!"
…Not what she was going for.
At all.
He smiled, hands pressed together in holy admiration. "I can really see the purity in your aura today!"
She tripped over her own hem fleeing the room.
—
Back in her room, Noelle flopped face-down on her bed.
"This is a disaster," she groaned into her pillow. "I'm losing to God."
There was a knock on her door. "Sister Noelle? I made you a fruit salad to thank you for training with me yesterday!"
She sat up, stunned.
Then opened the door.
Asta stood there smiling, holding a weirdly perfect fruit arrangement with a little mint leaf on top.
She wanted to slam the door and kiss him at the same time.
She took the bowl. "Thanks."
He nodded. "Remember—temptation is the devil's work, so stay strong, alright?"
He meant it as encouragement.
She took it as war.
The moment the door shut, she tossed the salad aside, pointed at the heavens, and hissed:
"It's ON."
—
A Few Days Later…
Noelle could tell something had changed.
Asta was acting weird.
Not bad weird—just… twitchy.
Like every time she walked into the room, he'd flinch. Glance once. Then immediately look at the ceiling, the floor, the walls, anything but her.
It was suspicious.
And it was awesome.
He's noticing me.
He's fighting it.
That means I'm WINNING.
She started tracking how many times he said "forgive me" in a day. So far: twelve. And it wasn't even noon.
—
Meanwhile, inside Asta's brain:
Chaos.
He sat outside on the training field, sweat pouring down his face, sword stuck in the dirt.
"Lord," he muttered, "why did You make her so pretty?"
Yuno (for some inexplicable reason) passed by, saw him praying mid-sparring session, and didn't even ask. Just dropped a towel on his head and kept walking.
—
Exhibit A: The Broom Closet Incident
Asta turned a corner too fast. Noelle turned the same corner. They collided. Fell into a broom closet. Landed in a tangle of limbs.
There was a full five seconds of silence.
Noelle, trying not to explode.
Asta, sweating like he was in the sun temple.
Then he blurted: "The flesh is weak!"
And jumped out the door like it was on fire.
Noelle remained on the floor, blinking. "…What?"
—
Exhibit B: The Prayer Spiral
One night, she passed by the chapel and heard whispering.
Asta, kneeling in front of the altar, gripping the Bible like it owed him money.
"Please give me strength. Please let me stop imagining things. Please make her wear turtlenecks again."
Noelle stood there with a hand over her mouth.
She had never worn a turtleneck in her life.
—
Exhibit C: The "Subtle" Compliment
He tried so hard to keep it together.
Too hard.
One afternoon, Noelle came back from a mission. Mud-streaked. Hair messy. Battle-dress torn at the seams and hems.
Asta stared at her like she descended from the heavens.
"You look very… battle-hardened," he choked out.
Noelle blinked. "Thanks?"
He slapped himself. Literally slapped himself.
"Sorry, sorry, I just meant you're—um—powerful in Christ—NO!—I mean—your spirit is strong! And also, your face is…"
He ran away before he finished the sentence.
She stood in the hall, red-faced and victorious.
He is unraveling.
—
Enter: Yuno, Voice of Reason
Yuno caught him muttering Bible verses in the bath.
"Is this about Noelle?" he asked, deadpan.
Asta flinched so hard he dunked his head under the water like it was holy.
Yuno sighed. "You literally tried to marry Sister Lily. And now you're freaking out over a girl your age who likes you back."
"That was different," Asta gasped, wiping water from his eyes. "That was a crush. This is—this is spiritual warfare!"
Yuno blinked. "You're so dumb it actually hurts."
—
The Night of the Dream
Asta woke up in a cold sweat.
Dreamed Noelle leaned in, whispered "bless me, Father" and kissed him.
He sat up, horrified.
"Lord, smite me right now," he whispered, pulling the covers over his head. "I am unclean. I am so unclean."
From the hallway: "Shut up, Asta!"
That was probably Magna.
—
Back in the common room, Noelle lounged on the couch, polishing her wand, feeling smug.
She caught Asta watching her through the doorway.
He immediately turned and ran into a wall.
She barely suppressed her laughter.
He is a man on the brink, she thought, lips twitching.
And she was going to break him.
With love, obviously.
Eventually.
Probably.
—
Father Orsi came to visit.
Something about inspecting the chapel, blessing the base, sharing scripture with the local idiots.
Also, probably to stop Asta from melting into a puddle of moral guilt and muscle tension.
Noelle caught wind of it instantly.
"Wait—THE Father Orsi? The one from Asta's orphanage?"
Vanessa nodded. "Yeah. Tall guy. Skinny. Smiles too much."
Luck added, "He smells like potatoes."
Noelle bolted from the room before anyone could ask questions.
—
She needed a dress.
Not a slutty one. She wasn't that far gone.
But like… respectfully attractive. Something that said "take me seriously" but also "I could be a church wife if needed."
Vanessa tried to give her a red corset dress.
Noelle nearly bit her.
In the end, she found a modest, flowy white number with lace at the collar. Looked like it belonged in a romance novel about forbidden love in a monastery.
With a little help from a certain drunk witch it'd be perfect.
—
Meanwhile, Father Orsi had cornered Asta in the chapel.
"Asta, my boy," he said, cheerfully patting his back. "You look like a man being hunted by temptation."
Asta dropped the Bible he was clutching. "I—NO—I mean—I'm fine, Father!! Just fasting. Mentally."
Orsi gave him a look.
"Asta. Tell me what's going on before I perform an exorcism on your hormones."
—
And so it all spilled out.
The accidental touches. The forbidden dreams. The wet shirt incident. The broom closet incident. The "bless me, Father" dream that still haunted him.
"I'm trying to be holy," Asta wailed. "But I think she's the devil in royal disguise!"
Father Orsi looked at him like he had two heads.
"Asta. You are not even officially training for the priesthood."
"But I took a vow!" Asta insisted.
"Unofficially!"
"But it felt real!"
Orsi sighed, rubbed his temples, and said the thing that would shake Asta to his core:
"You know you can still get married as a priest, right?"
Silence.
Complete silence.
Birds stopped chirping. Wind stopped blowing. Even the candles seemed to flicker in disbelief.
"…What?" Asta asked.
Orsi nodded. "Some of the best priests I know are married. It's not common. A little frowned upon. But it's allowed."
Asta blinked.
Twitched.
Then just slumped forward into the pew like someone unplugged his soul.
"…So I've been torturing myself for nothing?"
"Yes."
—
Enter Noelle.
She pushed open the chapel doors dramatically.
Her dress swirled around her like an angel descending from on high.
Asta turned. Froze.
Father Orsi took one look at her and smiled way too knowingly.
Noelle walked straight down the aisle like she was about to deliver a sermon—or start a duel.
She stopped in front of Asta, hands on hips, cheeks slightly pink.
"You," she said, "owe me weeks of emotional stability."
Asta blinked. "W-what?"
"You've been panicking over nothing this entire time!"
"How did you even know—?"
"Everyone knows, Asta."
Behind her, Luck peeked through the chapel window, holding up a sign that said "TEAM NOELLE."
—
Father Orsi gently stepped back like he was officiating a wedding.
Noelle cleared her throat. Smoothed the front of her dress.
Then, calmly:
"I like you."
Asta choked on his own breath.
"I really like you. And I am not the devil. Just a very determined girl with a lot of romantic anxiety and zero shame left."
Asta stared.
Then turned to Orsi.
"Father, am I dreaming?"
Orsi patted his shoulder. "Only if the Lord is shipping you two harder than we are."
—
Asta stood.
Stared at her for a long, shaky second.
Then whispered, "You look like a holy vision."
Noelle flushed.
"Shut up," she muttered, even though she felt like floating through the stained glass windows.
Then Asta, face redder than a tomato in hell, said, "I-I think I like you too."
Noelle exhaled so hard she almost passed out.
—
Final scene of the part?
The entire Black Bulls hiding outside the chapel, pressed against the doors, eavesdropping like heathens.
Luck whisper-yelling, "Did he confess yet?!"
Vanessa, sipping wine. "He better. I didn't sew that dress for nothing."
Gordon: "…I think this is the start of something beautiful."
Magna, loudly: "FIVE THOUSAND YUL SAYS THEY KISS BY SUNSET."
Crash.
Doors swing open.
Asta and Noelle standing there, blinking.
The entire squad collapses inward like a house of cards.
Noelle sighs.
"I swear to the stars," she mutters, grabbing Asta's hand, "I earned this."
Asta just smiles, dazed and full of awe.
"Does this mean we can hold hands and pray together?"
Noelle groans. "We'll talk about it."
—
Noelle had a boyfriend.
Kind of.
Maybe?
Sort of???
Okay—she had Asta.
And that… was apparently its own genre of romance.
—
He was still the same.
Woke up at sunrise. Trained like a lunatic. Prayed before meals. Thanked "the divine presence of the heavens" when the weather was nice.
Except now, he also held her hand.
Very nervously. Like it was contraband.
And every time she leaned on his shoulder, he whispered things like:
"Lord, I know she's not a test. But please help me pass anyway."
—
It was endearing. It was sweet.
It was infuriating.
"I'm not a temptation," Noelle grumbled after he flinched from a kiss like she'd pulled out a cursed relic.
"You're the temptation," he said, utterly sincere. "Like. Top tier."
She was going to scream.
—
Still, progress was made.
She got him to sit next to her during quiet chapel hours. Shared verses. Lit candles. Held pinkies.
Sometimes, when no one was around, he'd kiss her cheek.
Once, he kissed her hand and then blessed it.
Noelle: "Asta. I use that hand."
Asta: "For holy purposes, I'm sure."
Noelle: growling noises
—
One day, she caught him reading The Modesty and Morality Handbook of Sacred Living.
She nearly exploded.
"Why are you reading that garbage?!"
Asta blinked up. "I wanted to make sure I wasn't corrupting you."
"I was trying to corrupt you!!"
"Oh. Well. Mission not totally failed."
She short-circuited on the spot.
—
Yuno finally snapped.
He walked in during one of their awkward hand-holding prayer sessions and just stared.
"You're both idiots," he said.
Asta: "We're in love."
Noelle: "Are we?"
Asta: "I think we are?"
Yuno: "May the gods help you both."
Then he turned and left.
—
Father Orsi checked in once.
Saw Asta give Noelle a shy forehead kiss before dinner.
Paused. Then gave her a thumbs up.
Noelle: "Why do I feel like I just got divine approval?"
Asta: "He calls you 'my daughter-in-faith' now."
Noelle: "Oh stars above."
—
Their first real kiss happened during a thunderstorm.
Lightning cracked the sky.
The Black Bulls were screaming inside over some ridiculous card game.
Asta looked at her.
Eyes soft. Hands trembling.
"Noelle," he whispered, "I'm still going to be a man of faith."
She nodded.
"And I'm still going to be me. Spoiled. Loud. In love with you."
He smiled.
"Then let's be holy together."
And kissed her.
Right there. In the rain. Like a teenage choir boy with divine clearance.
She nearly burst into sparkles.
—
From that point on?
They were a couple.
A very weird, semi-pious, prayer-sharing couple.
Asta still quoted scripture.
But now he followed it with, "Also, Noelle's the prettiest girl in the kingdom and I'd fight an archangel for her."
She blushed for a week straight.
—
Every date was supervised by Finral "for teleport safety."
Every kiss was interrupted by Luck yelling, "GET A ROOM."
Every morning started with Asta asking, "Should we pray?"
Noelle always replied, "Should we kiss?"
They usually compromised and did both.
—
The final scene?
Noelle kneeling beside Asta during evening prayers.
He's muttering something about gratitude and strength.
She's pretending to pray but really watching him out of the corner of her eye.
He peeks over.
Smiles.
And, with the gentlest voice:
"Bless me, Noelle, for I am deeply in love."
She slaps a hand over her face.
Then grabs his collar and kisses him mid-prayer.
—
And that's the end.
Asta remains a man of faith.
Noelle remains a woman of chaos.
Together, they're Clover Kingdom's first holy power couple.
May the gods have mercy on everyone else.