After six months in the town, I really started to miss having female friends. So, I tried to get to know my neighbors better. One day, Alexander came home early and found me having coffee with a woman nearby. He was his usual charming self, calling me a fantastic wife. But once our guest left, everything changed.
He looked at me with a scary intensity. I had never seen him so angry. Then, out of nowhere, he used bad language and pushed me to the ground. I was shocked and ran away crying. But Alexander quickly switched back to being loving. He apologized but told me I had to stop hanging out with the neighborhood women.
I tried to explain that they were just friends. But when I did, his anger flared up again. I knew better than to push it, so I let it go. That moment was a huge shift in how Alexander acted. A dark side came out that I had never seen before.
He became really jealous about everything. If the phone rang, he would answer it and say I couldn't talk. If I asked who it was, he would freak out and accuse me of having a secret lover.
In his mind, having female friends was as big a threat as any guy I might be seeing. My life felt like it was turning into a nightmare. His heavy drinking made it worse, and I felt more scared every day.
Even simple errands, like grocery shopping, turned into problems. He'd accuse me of meeting another man at the store. His rage and paranoia only grew with each passing day.
As time went by, Alexander's hold on my life got stronger. He didn't want me to see neighbors unless he was around. I could only go to church or the dentist if he came with me. The worst part? He made me stop writing to my friends and pen pals.
I had valued those friendships since high school. Losing touch hurt a lot. I didn't get his reasoning, especially since all my friends were women. He even read every letter I got and checked anything I wrote. But that still wasn't enough for him.
When Alexander was at work, I tried to understand his behavior. But I couldn't find the guts to stand up to him. I noticed some weird things, like when he said he had no family, but I found out he had three sisters who didn't talk to him. I didn't bring it up because I was afraid of how he'd react.
I also had doubts about his friends who fixed up our house. They were all past patients of his, and I wondered why he was "helping" them. Plus, we never hung out with his coworkers or their wives, which seemed odd for a doctor.
Even though we went out to nice places sometimes, I started to dread those outings. I knew they'd just lead to his verbal attacks and controlling behavior once we got home. I felt my world getting smaller, and I was starting to feel trapped and alone.
In public, Alexander continued to play the role of the charming and devoted husband. However, I knew the reality behind the facade. I would tremble with fear, anticipating the punishment that awaited me at home.
Alexander's accusations were relentless. If no man spoke to me during an evening out, he would claim I was flirting with someone, like a waiter or bartender. If he suspected I had interacted with a man, he would scream that I must be attracted to women. I learned that crying would only prolong his tantrums, while calmly ignoring him would eventually lead to his drunken stupor, which became my only respite.
What I found particularly disturbing was Alexander's habit of inspecting every room and bed upon returning home from work. He would demand to know who had sat or slept on them, and inevitably accuse me of infidelity with our neighbor or the guard.
Alexander had a twisted ability to turn even the most mundane incidents into sordid affairs. During our courtship, I had shared my past with him, and he had taken note of specific names and places. He would later use this information against me, making outrageous accusations.
For instance, I had mentioned a young neighborhood boy I had befriended, and Alexander accused me of having sex with him. I had shared stories about a camping trip with girlfriends, and he called me a lesbian.
The final act of cruelty was when Alexander shot my dog, claiming I loved the animal more than him. This devastating incident marked a new low in our toxic relationship.