The surprise was a success. For the first time, I felt like I belonged to a group—not the people closest to me, maybe, but still those who spent this day with me. Even though I didn't particularly care for some of them, I was thankful they'd set aside their own plans to celebrate my birthday. Sure, there weren't many gifts, but does that really matter? I got the best gift of all—recognition. Recognition from my school friends. And, of course, the phone. My first fancy present.Right then, almost on autopilot, I opened it and checked the contacts. I was hoping Mom's number would be there. But it wasn't—the list was blank, and it was up to me to fill it.After the guests left, Uncle Em laid out a small celebratory spread for us. It was just Uncle David, Raoul, Mars, and me. They gave toasts, wishing me well. When Uncle David stood up, he hoped my phone would soon be full of new contacts and that I'd always be surrounded by kind, loving people. Then, out of nowhere, he teared up, thinking of Dad. He often said I was just like him—honest, decent, a son to be proud of. And he was so sorry things had turned out this way.We both got misty-eyed. It was a deeply personal moment. I felt a wave of melancholy, but at the same time, it was beautiful. My heart was racing; I wanted to shout—from the ache inside and the joy I felt that day.Next, Uncle Em raised a toast, thanking God that a small, hungry, unsure kid had once come to him asking for a chance. Looking at me, he said:
"Kid, I didn't give you a chance—you gave me one. I've come to love you so much; you're like my own. If you ever need help—any kind at all—just come to me. I'm always here."I quipped that closing his restaurant for me already said plenty. Everyone laughed, and the mood lifted instantly. We eased from a hint of sadness into a good time.Then Mars took his turn.
He was a lively guy, always helping me with homework and sharp as a tack. Uncle Em was his mom's brother, so he worked at the restaurant and lent a hand. But he had bigger dreams—he wanted to be a scientist, an inventor, and he was good at it. He was finishing his last year at college. I knew he'd quit the job after graduating, but I was sure he'd still stick around and keep helping me with school.Mars joked that I was a bit dim and would never cut it as a mathematician, but I'd make a great actor—my faces behind Uncle Em's back were pure genius. I got flustered and asked him to cut it out; it felt awkward in front of Uncle Em. But could you ever stop Mars? We all cracked up, especially Uncle Em. It was a riot.After everyone, Raoul spoke.
He stood up, as always, with this quiet dignity, like the whole world was his and his alone. His confidence always blew me away, even made me a little jealous. He looked at me and said:
"My dear brother, happy birthday. I'm glad I've got a little brother in you. Glad you're here. We all love you and want you to find a path that makes your life beautiful and happy. Maybe I can't help with homework like Mars, or give you a phone like Uncle David, or set this table like Uncle Em—but I want you to know: even if I'm in another country, far, far away, you can always count on me, just like you have for the last six years. You grew up right in front of me, but I grew up watching you too. I've never met anyone as strong as you. I'm proud of you as a friend and admire you as someone who's seen you become who you are. We all love you and wish you a long, happy, healthy life."His words hit me hard. I knew he was planning to move to Europe, waiting to hear back from universities. Sure, I was sad he wouldn't be around, but I was over the moon for him. I was grateful he'd been there for me all these years.That's how we spent my fifteenth birthday. Back then, it felt like a turning point, like everything would be okay from then on. Having already seen my share of rough stuff—sadness, loneliness—I couldn't imagine these were still the happy times, just a kid's innocent babble. At the time, I thought I'd seen it all, stuff no regular guy from the block or school could ever fathom.One big reason for that was my first, unforgettable, one-and-only love. Yeah, I fell in love."One fine day," a new girl showed up at our school. It was just a week after my birthday.By then, my life—tough as it was—was starting to look up.Her name was Nai. She was stunning. That moment turned my world upside down. It was something new—I didn't know what to do with it or what was happening to me. Yeah, it was strange. And as I'd find out later, it was only the start of a new road—one I was totally unprepared for. One day, during class, the principal walked in. With him was a girl. The one who'd leave a mark on my soul I couldn't erase. The one I fell for, truly, for the first time—and maybe forever. Reading romance novels or playing the lovesick hero, I'd always thought, "Where do these writers come from? What planet are they on? Love like that's a myth!" I didn't buy that our time could have its own Romeo and Juliet. Maybe a Layla and Majnun, where Majnun, mad with love, roams the deserts of the East, driving everyone crazy with endless stories of his Layla.But then it hit me—something I never saw coming: our eyes locked, and I knew. Yeah, this was it. First love.My guts twisted, my hands shook, sweat drenched me, and my thoughts flew everywhere like a blast wave. She sat down at an empty desk, cool as anything, while the teacher kept going. It was like she glided instead of walked. Like a rainbow after a summer shower. Right then, me and the other guys couldn't care less about class. Her beauty floored every boy and, I'd bet, sparked jealousy in the girls. She was so gorgeous and soft that when I asked myself, "To be or not to be?" my soul yelled, "Be! Be! Be!"After school, she was all I could think about. I dreamed, fantasized, pictured our life together. Saw us waking up side by side, falling asleep wrapped up in each other, full of love and longing. My mind split like an atom, and I decided: that's it, tomorrow I'd ask her out. No doubt about it. I couldn't sleep that night, lost in thoughts of her. I got up, made breakfast, and, like always, told Dad about what I was feeling. About the girl. About everything. Then I headed to school, buzzing with excitement. When I walked into class, she was already there—sitting in the middle, surrounded by classmates. They were laughing, getting to know each other. Her energy, that magnetic pull… you couldn't miss it. And right then, I froze. Fear kicked in.The guy who'd been so sure of himself yesterday turned into a scared little pup. What could I offer her? A few coins in my pocket. No family, no backup—just a nobody. Who'd want a guy like me? And a dull voice inside answered: "No one."I slipped quietly to my seat and sat down, head bowed. That's how the day that could've changed my life slipped by. I could've gone up to her, could've at least said "hey," but I just watched her in silence, my heart tugging harder toward her. After school, I didn't go to work—I was too drained. I headed home to spend the evening alone, sinking into my thoughts and tears. That night, I felt envy, despair, anger. I was ashamed, hurting, and lonely. For how I lived. For being unwanted. For even existing. A useless coward and a failure.