"Get in."
The pale lady's sexy, husky voice rang with authority and control, her dark eyes never leaving Sarvest.
I hurriedly picked up Alicia and headed for salvation (the portal, that is).
"We'll be seeing each other soon... Ruben."
Soooooooo, I don't know which is more petrifying:
That I'll probably have this freak of nature stalking me, or that he knows my name now!
Wait! Does it mean he acknowledges me as a worthy foe—
"You're an unworthy foe, but you have managed to disgrace me today. I'll see to it that you regret ever being born."
Oh, God...
The terror that emanated from him with that last comment...
Even the reaper lady shuddered a bit.
Then immediately, we left the wasteland.
To Pison, I supposed.
I was wrong.
After we left the wasteland through the portal, we landed on a canoe...
A canoe...
In the middle of nowhere, on a deep black sea.
Maybe the canoe was named Pison?
And just like that, I was back to that shrimpy, feminine boy from before!
Platform, explain yourself!
{... Platform is exhausted from too much work. Entering hibernation.}
And she ghosts me.
The pale lady shook her scythe, and its blade collapsed into a paddle shape, which she used to row the canoe.
Hmmm.
Whatever. I suppose she's taking us to Pison right now.
So first—
"Ahhhhhh, thank you very much!!!"
I suddenly sprang to my feet, showering her with gratitude.
"Wahhhh, me too! I was so scared!"
Eh? Alicia too?
I guess she was really relieved to be out of that haunting wasteland.
I embraced her and our savior's feet.
"Hey, stop that!" She warned, her voice stern. "We'll topple into this sea, you know? And that'll be the end."
The end?
I composed myself immediately, sitting as stiff as a board. No stupid flags here, please. This was the wide, vast sea, as far as the eyes—even my eyes—could see.
"I'm sorry, I got a bit beside myself there." I gave a slight bow.
"It's fine, it's fine. You're actually smarter than some dogs I've met, so..."
Hm? Did she just insult me?
Nah!
"By the way," I started, as Alicia made her way to clutch me like a famished leech, "my name is Raven—I mean, Ruben. And this over-sized tick here is Alicia. Alicia, stop sniffing the Babysitter and greet our savior."
Alicia turned to the pale lady, her expression soft but regal.
"I am Alicia Blonde." She began, slipping into a noble, high-class character. "It's truly a pleasure to make your acquaintance. And we're certainly grateful for your help at the wasteland."
"As in, 'Bond Blonde' Blonde?" The pale lady asked, a bit surprised.
"Bond Blonde is my father's name indeed."
Ohhhh?!
Alicia is so well-bred—
"Though, if only you had come just a little bit later, I'm sure Ruby would've dispatched that persistent insect himself."
Alicia's voice was sweet as honey as she clutched me again.
I... Insect!!!
I knew it. This girl wasn't scared of Sarvest one bit.
Ah, ignorance truly is bliss.
Okay, let's maintain that image.
"Ahaha! Jeez, Alicia, everyone needs help now and then." I started with a smug grin. "And good ol' me, I despise violence, so I wasn't using my full power."
"Really? But you were trembling on the brink of collapse, though. That's why I stepped in." The pale lady added, her voice smooth and unbothered.
Geh! Sh-she got me...
Wait a second...
"YOU WERE WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME?!"
C'mon, of course, I'd shout so loud my voice would travel ahead of us to Pison!
"Let me introduce myself." She began, her low, suggestive, and husky voice washing over me. "I am Dearth—a death god."
"A death god? Not a death reaper?" I asked, curiosity creeping into my voice.
Dearth squinted at me, and I felt the temperature drop a few degrees. "You... I probably won't like you very much."
Eh? Just like that?!
She continued, "I was a death reaper until recently—last two months, to be exact. But I was elevated to god class by my Lord, Pluto."
Oh boy!
I hear the name "Pluto," and I smell scandal.
"Pluto, huh?" I forced a wry smile. "So he sent you to help us, but you were watching? I don't think he'll like to hear that, would he?"
Hehehe, maybe we could blackmail her a bit—
"What are you talking about?" She tilted her head lightly, and let me tell you, it was immensely cute.
Wait, wait, wait!!
What's with my sudden infatuation with cuteness?!
Is it...! GASP!!
Is it this feminine X masculine disaster of a form?!
"Lord Pluto sent you to the wasteland intentionally."
"Hm? That's news to me."
"He told me it was a form of harassment or something, and that you were an idiot. He said I should just enjoy the show of your suffering, then, if I so wished, appear to you and make you worship me as your savior—which, clearly, is already done—and then take you to Pison."
"..."
So, Pluto really did throw me into that hellhole for giggles, huh?
After everything I did for Pluto? Really?
Dearth continued stabbing me verbally, completely ignoring my "give-me-a-break" face. "It was a real shock to find Sarvest there, too. I seriously thought he'd slap you out of existence in seconds—that's usually all the time he needs to rid the world of yet another rodent."
Rodent, as in me?
"But not only did you survive for two whole minutes, but you also even softened him up for me to steal the scene and scratch him! Ah, that'll look great on my résumé."
Huh?
Is she trying to steal my hard work and effort right in front of me?
Is she trying to steal my hard work and effort right in front of me?
Surely no—
"Now I'll just have to reshape the story in a way that makes it seem like I chased Sarvest away after giving him one hell of an injury."
Even though we're the ones who ran?
I see.
"So..." I started, keeping my tone as casual as possible. "Do death gods just go around scamming people and telling lies?"
She flinched, the paddle pausing mid-water, and then—