"Thank you for picking me up. You really didn't have to go through all that trouble—you both could have just rested instead," Ainee said after we hugged outside the arrival area of Cebu Airport.
"Come on! It's fine. Besides, we have a day off tomorrow, so we can make up for lost sleep. And hey, at least you don't have to spend money on a taxi—it's expensive," I replied as we walked toward Sean's car.
"Hi, Sean!" Ainee greeted him when we saw him standing by his car.
"Hello, Ainee! How was your flight?"
"It was fine. The flight itself was only thirty minutes, but the long and tiring part was waiting for departure. By the way, thank you for picking me up. You both really went out of your way, and I know you're exhausted from your shift."
"No! It's fine. Besides, we usually go on road trips anyway, so it's no problem."
"Let's go? I'm starving," I said to both of them.
"See? I told you we should have grabbed some food before coming here."
"Well, I wasn't hungry earlier."
"Alright, if you say so!"
"As long as we eat now," I said, shaking my head and laughing, while he smirked and started the engine to drive off.
"Okay, where to? What do you guys feel like eating?" he asked.
"Ainee, what do you feel like eating?" I turned to ask her in the back seat.
"Anything's fine with me, you know I'm not picky."
"Alright, let's have lechon (roasted whole pig) then," Sean said with a grin, raising his eyebrows playfully at me.
"Of course! You and your obsession with lechon!" He just laughed.
After dinner, Sean dropped us off at my place since Ainee was staying over for the night before heading home, as she had some things to do. I made Sean drink some tea before letting him leave for his condo—he had eaten way too much.
"Why are you still awake? It's late"" Ainee asked when she saw me approaching her in the living room, where she was working on her laptop.
"I just randomly woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. What about you? Aren't you tired from your trip? Why aren't you resting yet?"
"I took a nap earlier after you went inside. I woke up after an hour to finish this—it's due tomorrow at the office."
"I thought you weren't going to work tomorrow since you guys were given the day off?"
"Yeah, I'll just drop this off at the office before heading home."
"Oh, how have you been? Sorry we didn't get to talk before I left for Manila—we were so busy."
"It's okay. I understand," I said, resting my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes for a moment.
"Did something happen? I know you, Lui. Even if you're smiling, I can see in your eyes that you're carrying something heavy."
So, I told her everything. It's a good thing she asked, or else I probably wouldn't have said anything—I didn't want to disturb her while she was working.
"That bastard! He's going to hear it from me—I'll call him right now" she said angrily.
Luckily, I didn't cry while telling her what happened. Maybe because I had already cried everything out when I got drunk.
"Just let it go. I haven't even called him—I really don't have the energy for it."
"Good! You shouldn't call him. If I had my way, you'd just break up and forget about him. Isn't that what I've always wanted you to do? But I know it's not that easy for you. You wouldn't be this foolish if you weren't head over heels for that guy!" she ranted.
"I'm still thinking things over about the two of us. I'll let you know once I decide. And because of what happened, I'm no longer buying him a plane ticket for his vacation here."
"Thank God you finally came to your senses, Lui!"
Days and weeks passed, and I no longer wasted time or phone credit calling Georje. My time revolved around work, Ainee and her family, and Sean. I still called Mitch, Zette, and Ali every two weeks or they will be the one to call—sometimes Jed was with Ali, so I got to talk to him too. No one mentioned Georje whenever we talked. They knew that what happened wasn't easy for me, so no one even tried to ask whether I had called Georje or not.
I enjoyed my new life, my new environment, and the new people I met. Sean and I became even closer. One day, he introduced me to his sister when he was dropping her off at the airport for her flight to Manila and tagged me along. I stayed quiet the whole time because I felt incredibly shy around his sister. It was obvious that she came from a wealthy family—you could tell even with her simple outfit, luxury practically radiated off her. Sean was the same way, but because he was so down-to-earth, you'd never guess his social status just by the way he interacted with people. But in terms of fashion, style, and his car, it was clear that he was well-off. Still, he never made me feel that way—not to me, nor to our colleagues at the office.
We loved hanging out at the beach or going to nature parks whenever we weren't in the mood for movies. We preferred spending our time enjoying the sea breeze by the shore or taking road trips uptown, chatting about random topics. I often teased him about getting a girlfriend before he got tired of always hanging out with me. He always said he wasn't in a hurry and that if it was meant to happen, it would happen at the right time.
"So, what's new with your boyfriend? You haven't mentioned him at all lately," he suddenly asked while driving. I had just finished grocery shopping, and he had come with me because he was bored at home.
"I don't know? I haven't heard from him either since I never called. I still feel hurt whenever I remember how he lied to me. I keep questioning myself—was I really that stupid or naive for him to do that to me?"
"Damn, maybe I shouldn't have asked about it. You seem to be in a bad mood now."
"No, it's fine. I'm just being honest."
"Like I told you before, Lui, you're not stupid. But you did let yourself be fooled because of love!"
"Ouch! That was harsh!"
"I thought you wanted me to be honest with you? Well, that's my honest observation!"
"Wow! But still, thank you. It hit me because it's true."
"Listen, only you can decide what to do. No matter how many of us are around to give you advice, it's still up to you."
"I know. That's why I haven't called him—I needed time to think clearly."
"That's good. At least you gave yourself enough time to reflect. But the question is, how long? You can't just leave things hanging forever, right?"
"I can't say exactly when, but I know it'll be soon."
"Good. I just hope that when that time comes, you've thought things through properly. And most of all, I hope you choose what's best for you. You deserve to be happy and respected, Lui."
"Well, as always, thank you for your words of wisdom and advice. They mean a lot to me."
He glanced at me and smiled before pinching my cheek—gently, of course. He always did that whenever I thanked him or appreciated something he did for me. It was like his way of saying, You're welcome.
"No matter what happens, I'm here for you. You know that. Just send me a text or a missed call, and I'll be there. I know you don't like calling because you're saving money on your phone bill, hahaha…"
"Of course! I'm not about to waste my salary on phone bills. That wouldn't make any sense. Unlike you, whose company covers your phone expenses. If you were paying for your own bill like me, I bet you'd be just as stingy with your calls!"
"Alright, alright, I won't argue," he said, cutting the conversation short before it went off track.
"We're here. Perfect timing—I'm starving. Weren't you going to cook me chicken curry today?" he said, flashing a cute smile while unlocking his seatbelt.
"Yes, manager. I knew that's why you volunteered to go grocery shopping with me!" We both laughed as we got out of his car. And just like always, I cooked chicken curry for him.
"Aren't you tired of eating this dish yet?"
"Nope. It's delicious—especially when you're the one cooking it."
"Oh, Sean Phillip Go, don't try to sweet-talk me!"
"I'm not! I'm just being honest. Next time, can you make sinigang na bangus instead?" he said with a grin.
"Wow, aren't you getting demanding?"
"Come on, I'm just making a request! And don't worry, I'll cover the market expenses. Deal? Besides, I bought dessert this time, so you're not at a loss here," he boasted.
"Oh wow, you're really bragging about it! I told you; I'm fine without dessert. But even so, I actually planned to buy ice cream because I always do."
"Okay, fine. I'll do the dishes so you won't have anything to complain about," he added.
"Hey, when have I ever complained about house chores? I never have. And it's fine, I'll clean up and wash the dishes—it's light work anyway."
"I know, I know. I just wanted to do it. Why? You don't want me to? You should take the opportunity while I'm still in the mood," he said, laughing at his own joke.
"No, really. I'll do it. You're the guest—oops, I mean, the visitor."
"Wow, you sounded like you regret cooking for me."
"Oh no, manager. I would never," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Why do you look grumpy? Smile, or you'll get wrinkles," he teased, pinching my cheek again.
"You're so annoying! You keep insisting on things that aren't true!"
"Sorry! You're so sensitive."
"Wow, and now I'm the sensitive one?"
"Okay, fine. We're both sensitive. Let's just drop it, or this will go nowhere. Now smile… please?"
"Stop acting cute—you're not cute. I told you that before."
"I'm not acting cute. Unless… you secretly find me cute?" he teased, laughing loudly. I smacked his shoulder and rolled my eyes.
"Ugh, you're impossible!"
"Ow! That hurt! That's physical abuse! I haven't even agreed with you to be your boyfriend and you're already abusing me," he joked dramatically.
"What?"
He didn't answer—just flashed a sly grin before standing up and heading to the terrace, completely ignoring my question. I shook my head and started cleaning up.
I didn't know how to react to what I heard. I had heard him say similar things before, but I always brushed them off. The first time, I thought he was just joking. But as he kept saying them, it felt like there was a deeper meaning. Yet, we never talked about it. While washing the dishes, I decided I needed to clear things up with him.
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" I asked as I approached him on the terrace. I found him staring off into the distance.
"Nothing. I mean, I can't just start talking or laughing by myself here, or I'd look crazy."
"Really? Let's just say I believe you."
"Because it's the truth! What else am I supposed to say?"
"Why are you asking me? I have no idea what's going on in your head."
"Nothing."
"Okay, fine. Then nothing! You talk too much."
"Don't frown, or you'll get wrinkles early. It's up to you," he teased me again while staring at my face as if he were reading me.
"So, what if I get wrinkles early? Are you not going to pay attention to me anymore?" I asked him, turning away from the people walking on the street below the building.
"You're wrong about that. That will never happen. No matter what you look like, even if you don't brush your hair, even if you have eye gunk, even if you haven't showered or brushed your teeth for a week, nothing would stop me from paying attention to you," he said seriously.
"What the heck? Do I really seem that messy to you for you to say something like that?"
"Nope." He popped the "p."
"Actually, you're beautiful and attractive. You're even more beautiful when you smile and aren't grumpy," he added.
"Wow, thanks! I don't know if you're just flattering me or if you're only saying this because I cooked your favorite meal and you want me to cook your new request too," I said, laughing to cover up the nervousness I felt from his words. He seemed so serious, and his gaze was fixed on my face.
"Don't worry. Even if you insult me, I'd still cook for you. But I'd put poison in your food to get back at you," I joked, laughing, though I knew my laugh was a bit forced just to ease the tension between us.
"No, I'm serious, Lui. Why can't you believe me this time? Didn't we promise each other we'd be honest?"
"Wait a second, what's going on with you? I've noticed you've been so serious for a while now," I said, moving away from him because I couldn't handle the way he was looking at me. I chose to sit on the small sofa in my tiny living room, pretending to fiddle with my phone, which I had grabbed from the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him follow me.
"Lui, I guess it's time for me to tell you what I've been trying so hard to keep inside. I can't do it anymore," he said as he sat beside me.
"What is it?" A sudden, intense pounding filled my chest. I couldn't understand why such overwhelming nervousness was taking over me at that moment.
"Lui, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall for you. Don't worry, I know you have a boyfriend, and I'm not telling you this to pressure you. It took me a long time to admit this to myself because I knew it wasn't possible, but by the time I realized it, I was already drowning in it, and now I can't get out," he said, his hands clenched and shaking. His face showed how nervous he was, and I couldn't tell for sure, but his eyes seemed to be glistening, as if he was holding back tears.
"Sean…" The only word I managed to say as I felt shocked, unable to believe what I had just heard.
"Let me finish first, please. I'm sorry. Don't worry, I won't cause any trouble. Please, just don't let this change how you treat me. I don't want anything to change between us. Lui, I'm so sorry. I can't stay away from you, so I'm telling you now—please don't ask me to. It's enough for me to be around you. I'm happy and content just being with you. Lui, please? I swear to God I won't ask anything from you. Just let me stay by your side, please?" I was stunned by his words. I didn't know what to say.
"Sean," again was all I could manage. My hands, which had already been cold, were now trembling too. I kept rubbing them against my jeans repeatedly.
I couldn't look at him because his gaze felt like it could melt me. My eyes stayed fixed on my hands, which I kept rubbing over my thighs. My throat was dry. My mind was blank, and my heart was pounding hard big time.
"Lui, are you okay? I'll understand if you're mad at me. I didn't expect this to happen either. I never planned for any of this. I'm really sorry."
"Sean."
"What? Say something, I'm listening. You keep saying my name over and over."
"Sorry… That's all I can say. Because honestly, I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you."
"Lui, can I hold your hand?" I didn't answer. I was scared for him to hold my hands, but at the same time, I wanted him to, hoping it would stop their shaking. I kept rubbing them against my jeans, unable to stop.
"Lui, please stop that. I know you're shocked by what I confessed to you." I just shook my head, still unable to speak.
He slowly took my hands in his. I didn't pull away. I didn't know why. I didn't even understand what I was feeling—there was happiness mixed with pain. I didn't know why I felt like this, but I couldn't say anything because I was also afraid.
"Lui, please look at me. Are you mad at me?" he asked softly. I just shook my head but still didn't look at him. My eyes remained fixed on the table in front of me.
"Say something, please!"
"Sorry. I don't know what to say, Sean. But I know I'm not mad at you." He let out a deep sigh, like a weight had been lifted off his chest.
"I have to go. I'll give you time to process this. But I'll still pick you up here tomorrow, okay? We'll go to the office together like always, please?" I could only nod. He pinched my cheek before standing up and walking out of my unit.
I couldn't sleep that night, replaying his words over and over in my head. I also never replied to his text saying he had arrived safely at his condo.
My mind was filled with questions. I didn't know what to do or what to say to him. I worried that things would become awkward between us and that everything would change because of his confession.
So, I texted Ainee, asking to meet her after work tomorrow. I needed someone to help me process everything I had just heard because I still felt dazed and my mind was completely blank.