Sayaka sat on the edge of the campus fountain, her legs dangling over the side, eyes fixed on the ripples in the water. The soft autumn breeze tugged at her hair, yet she hardly noticed the chill that kissed her skin. Her mind was elsewhere—like it always seemed to be these days.
"Stupid Kaito," she muttered under her breath. "Stupid Yuuki."
It was a paradox, really, how much she hated them both yet felt a magnetic pull toward everything they did. How she despised the situation but couldn't help herself from watching it unfold with a mixture of grudging curiosity and undeniable, bitter fondness.
The truth was—she had been watching from the shadows for weeks. Ever since Kaito had helped Yuuki—no, since Kaito had turned into this… this other person.
No longer was he the awkward, quiet boy who avoided attention at all costs. Now, he was someone people looked at with respect. Admiration, even. He was someone who stood up and *did* things. Things that made him not just part of the background anymore.
Things that made her feel like she didn't exist anymore.
"Ugh!" She threw her hands up, her frustration spilling over. "Why am I even mad at them?"
She didn't have the answer. Not really. It was easy to say it was Yuuki. She'd never particularly liked her, especially not after she'd arrived at the university. But deep down, Sayaka knew it wasn't just that. It was something far more complicated. Something she wasn't ready to admit, not to herself and certainly not to anyone else.
She was jealous.
Jealous of Yuuki's effortless grace. Jealous of how Yuuki had somehow waltzed into Kaito's life and—without even trying seemed to shine brighter than Sayaka ever could.
"Stupid, perfect Yuuki," she muttered, narrowing her eyes.
Of course, she knew that wasn't fair. Yuuki wasn't perfect. No one was. But that didn't stop the gnawing bitterness that lingered every time Sayaka saw them together.
When Kaito had stood up for Yuuki, she hadn't been able to swallow the sharp pang of frustration in her chest. It was supposed to be her. Her.She had always been there for Kaito. She'd always been the one who had stayed by his side, even when he didn't want to talk, even when he shut himself off from the world.
And then here came Yuuki, who managed to waltz in and 'poof' suddenly everything changed.
The worst part was, deep down, Sayaka knew it was her own fault. She had been keeping her distance from Kaito for years. Too proud to admit how she really felt. Too stubborn to let anyone in, to let herself be vulnerable. All because she thought it would be better that way. All because she thought Kaito would be better off without her messy, complicated emotions.
But now?
Now it felt like she had missed her chance.
Flashback
Sayaka remembered the first time she'd met Kaito. It had been on a summer day, years ago, when they were just kids. Kaito had been sitting alone in the corner of the playground, reading a book. As usual. He was always the quiet type. And she, being the usual outspoken, bossy child she was, had decided that he needed someone to play with.
She'd marched up to him and said, "You're coming with me."
Kaito had looked up at her with that shy, awkward expression of his, the one that said he'd rather be anywhere else but there. "I'm reading," he had murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I don't care," Sayaka had said, hands on her hips. "You're going to play with me. Now."
And so, despite his protests, she had dragged him into a game of tag. It had been a mess, but in the end, they had both laughed. And that had been the start of their friendship.
But over the years, something had shifted. Kaito had retreated into himself more and more, his social anxiety pulling him away from everyone, including her. And Sayaka? She had become more and more distant, thinking that it would be easier for him if she wasn't around. If she wasn't constantly pushing him to interact, to engage. She convinced herself that she was doing it for him, for his own good.
But now? She realized how wrong she had been.
Present Day
Now, Kaito was out there, in the center of it all. He was the one everyone was talking about. He was the one who had stood up to Kazuki, the one who had helped Yuuki find her voice again. He was no longer the quiet, standoffish boy who was happy to blend into the background. He was someone else now, someone people could look up to.
And that scared the hell out of her.
Sayaka knew the worst part of it was her own feelings. She had always kept them locked up her secret.She never told him how much she cared. She never told him how much she wanted to be more than just the friend who had been there for him all these years. The one who would stand by him, no matter what.
But she never asked for more. She never even let herself want more.
And now?
Now she was left in the dust. Watching him grow closer to Yuuki.
"I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself, leaning back against the fountain. "I'm such an idiot."
It wasn't just that she hadn't confessed her feelings to him. It was that she had *let* him go. Let him live a life without her. Let him experience everything that she had been too scared to face.
As much as she hated to admit it, the jealousy, the spitefulness it wasn't about Yuuki. It was about Kaito. About her fear that she would lose him forever.
But she couldn't just sit there and brood forever. That wasn't Sayaka's style. No matter how much her heart ached, she had to do something. She had to stop pretending that everything was fine.
She had to stop pretending that she didn't care.
The Next Day
The campus was alive with the usual noise. Sayaka was sitting in a corner of the cafeteria, scrolling through her phone absentmindedly, when she saw him. Kaito. He was sitting with Yuuki, laughing about something. And for once, the sight didn't hurt as much as it used to.
She realized that maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop running away from her feelings.
With a deep breath, Sayaka stood up and walked toward their table.
"Hey, Kaito," she said, her voice a little shaky. "Got a minute?"
Kaito turned to her, his eyes widening in surprise. "Sayaka? What's up?"
Yuuki glanced between them, her expression unreadable, but she smiled warmly and excused herself. "I'll give you two some space."
Sayaka watched Yuuki walk away, and for the first time in weeks, she didn't feel that familiar stab of jealousy.
"Is everything okay?" Kaito asked, a little unsure.
Sayaka took a deep breath. "No. Everything's not okay. But maybe… maybe I can make it better."
Kaito blinked. "What do you mean?"
Sayaka sat down across from him, her hands trembling slightly. "I… I've been an idiot. I've been avoiding you, hiding from my feelings because I thought it would be easier that way. But it's not."
Kaito's eyes softened. "Sayaka…"
"I'm sorry, Kaito. I'm sorry for being a coward."
She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her words tumbling out faster than she could control them. But for the first time, she didn't care. She wasn't going to run away anymore.
"I care about you," she whispered. "More than I should."
And maybe, just maybe, Kaito would understand. And maybe, just maybe, everything would finally fall into place.