Lao Chen jolted awake, cold sweat soaking his body as his breath came in ragged gasps.
"Am... I really dead? Is this the afterlife?" he murmured, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings.
The first thought that came to his mind—
"Ah... So this is hell." He nodded in full acceptance.
Mountains of trash surrounded him—ramen cups, bottles, crumpled papers... and used condoms. The sheer volume of filth piled up so high it nearly touched the ceiling in some areas.
And worst of all, he had been sleeping on it.
Strangely enough, there was no smell.
"Must be because I'm used to it..." He shook his head.
But no, that didn't make sense. Lao Chen distinctly remembered dying—hit by a reckless driver, his body thrown like a ragdoll. The pain, the blood, the cold... it was real.
'Was it all just a dream?' he wondered, racking his brain.
Yet, this wasn't his room. No way in hell. Lao Chen was a clean man—so much so that he'd curse even a single wet napkin left on his kitchen counter. This place? A hoarder's apocalypse.
"Tsk, tsk… Even a dog wouldn't sleep in a place like this!"
He then slowly sat up, expecting his old bones to creak in protest. His doctor had always warned him about osteoporosis, arthritis, and a whole list of things waiting to ruin his mornings.
"Oh my, oh my," he muttered, using the trash as support to push himself up. Out of habit, he instinctively bent over—
But then, something strange happened.
No pain. No stiff joints. No aching back screaming at him.
He straightened up, slower this time, almost afraid to jinx it.
"Weird... How come my back doesn't hurt? No aching joints? Huh. This hell isn't as bad as I thought."
Trying to stay positive, he made his way toward what he assumed was the bathroom—only to be greeted by an even worse sight.
Trash. In the toilet. Overflowing. A foul stench slapped him in the face like fermented fish left out in the summer heat.
"What unfilial bastard lived like this?! I'd rather die than go in there!" He gagged, stepping back like the floor itself was cursed.
With a deep breath, he turned toward the mirror mounted on the wall—and froze.
"What...?" His brows furrowed.
Lao Chen was old. Wrinkled. His face had lines so deep they could pass for a dried-up riverbed. But the man staring back at him—
He was young. Mid-twenties, at most. Handsome. Bright brown hair, light blue eyes as clear as the sky. His body was fit, lean muscle showing even through the scruffy beard on his face.
"No, no, this must be a mistake."
His hands shot up, touching his face.
The reflection did the same.
His hands weren't wrinkled. His joints weren't swollen.
"Heaven and Earth, I… I turned into a young man again!" His eyes lit up, the weight of his past misery momentarily lifting.
"Is this… is this a second chance for me?!"
Just as he was about to get emotional—
[Ding!]
A sudden chime rang in his mind.
[The God of Richness & Love has a message for you:]
[You just realized it, old man?! Didn't the system tell you before you died?!]
"Huh?! Who's talking?!" Lao Chen spun around. All he saw was trash.
"Is this a demon?! I knew my ancestors would come back to haunt me one day!"
[What?! Look in front of you! The screens! I'm right here!]
Following the voice's instruction, he blinked—and suddenly, floating screens filled with text appeared in front of him. They looked like chat bubbles from those apps youngsters used.
"Ah, yeah, I see you… but why give a second chance to someone like me?" His voice turned sour, the weight of his failures creeping back in.
[Why so depressed?]
[When you were alive, the gods already gave you luck—wealth, family, love, everything.]
[But you! You failed at everything! Your luck is below average! Your economy score was a 5!]
"Out of ten?"
[Out of 100! Moron!]
Lao Chen winced. "Damn, that's bad."
[Anyway, I took pity on you and now your new name is Zhou Yiming! Remember that!]
[Also, system, give him a quest. I feel sorry looking at him naked like this. Though, I gotta say, nice muscles.]
[The God of Richness & Love gives you a wink! Your life luck has increased by +5!]
Lao Chen instinctively covered himself. "Oi! You're a guy! Have some shame!"
But the god didn't respond, only sending another system notification instead.
---
[New Quest Available!]
[Cleanliness is the First Step to a New Life!]
[Clean the room and yourself so you can start fresh—just like newly washed clothes!]
[Reward: $500 | Perk: Clean Dude (Cleaning Speed +10%) | 100 AP]
---
Zhao Yiming's eyes widened in disbelief. The rewards included money?!
"Heavens! Just for cleaning? This must be a dream!" He let out a hearty chuckle. "Even if I had to scrub the Yellow River itself, I'd do it for a hundred dollars!"
Straightening his posture, he rolled his shoulders, fully motivated. First things first, cleaning supplies.
He searched the room—only to find nothing.
"Of course there's nothing! How can a place like this have anything useful?" He sighed, shaking his head. "Heavens really want to test this old man..."
Just as he was about to give up, something caught his eye.
"Eh? What's this?"
He bent down and picked up a crumpled ten-dollar bill off the floor. A slow grin crept onto his face.
"Hah! At least fate isn't completely blind. Guess I'll head to the grocery store."
Since he couldn't find any proper clothes, he had no choice but to go shirtless. With a sigh, he pulled open the door—
And was immediately greeted by a landslide of trash collapsing outside.
He barely dodged it in time, his old instincts kicking in.
"Damn! I almost died once again!"
But his struggles weren't over yet.
About fifty meters away, a breathtakingly beautiful woman in her mid-thirties was rushing toward him.
Her short, curly brown hair and striking purple eyes made her look as delicate and refined as a jasmine flower.
She looked panicked—and before he could react, the system chimed again.
---
[Ding!]
[Landlord's Wife, Su Meilin, is approaching!]
[You have a chance to enter her route!]
[Which route will you choose?]
• Pervert Sage
• Innocent Jasmine
---
"Hah? What the hell is 'Pervert Sage'?!" he muttered.
Before he could process it—
[Ding!]
[You have chosen the Pervert Sage route!]
---
[New Quest: Booby Trap!]
[Objective: "Accidentally" touch Meilin's breasts.]
[How to Complete: Choose your method of 'accident.']
• Easy Mode – The Classic Fall
(Pretend to trip while standing still and fall forward.)
[Success Rate: 100%]
• Medium Mode – Slipping on a Bottle
(Kick the bottle slightly while stepping forward to make the fall look natural.)
[Success Rate: 80%]
• Hard Mode – Triple Chain Accident
(Knock over a bottle → step on the bottle → grab Meilin's chest to 'stop' yourself from falling but end up falling together.)
[Success Rate: 50%]
[Remember: The harder the choice, the greater the rewards and also the greater the punishment if it's failed! Good luck!]
---
Zhao Yiming's jaw dropped.
"WHAT THE HELL?! This system is a scam!"