Cooking was the mandatory skill for every cliché reincarnated protagonist.
Now, while I was pretty sure I was too much of a shitty person to be anyone's protagonist, I still liked to maximize my chances.
Besides, I was an orphan in this life and a broke loner in the last. Not much of a choice, really. You either figured out how to cook, or you accepted malnutrition as your new best friend.
I rummaged through my cabinets, tossing aside a half-empty bag of rice, a suspiciously sticky soy sauce bottle, and—
"Is that mold?" Anko called from the futon.
"It's fermentation," I lied, chunking the entire container out the window.
"Just make eggs," Anko groaned, flopping onto her stomach. While I put on my pant, she was still naked. "Even you can't fuck up eggs."
I scowled. That sounded like a challenge.
Two, in fact.
And I couldn't quite decide which one to take — proving her wrong about my cooking or flipping her over and giving her another good reason to stay in bed.
I eyed the way her bare ass was still shamelessly on display, the dip of her spine leading to some truly distracting thoughts.
I can't fuck eggs... but I could damn well fuck you.
I clicked my tongue. I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, and I'd already gone a round with a starving Uzumaki before Anko decided to break my bed — or futon in this case. How the hell do you even break a futon?
Oh. Right.
She didn't break it.
She drenched it. The floor too.
Anyway, I was starving, and if I was going to give her another round, I needed fuel.
It couldn't be helped. I was feeling a bit… energetic. And hopeful?
The good fucks aside, I was still breathing.
No Anbu.
No masked figures had appeared in the night.
It didn't mean much on its own. They could still be planning, waiting for the perfect moment—when I was alone or outside the village, when they could maximize their chances. That was the smart play.
But I was starting to doubt it. Naruto's visit was the real kicker. He had been clueless, grinning like always.
Either the Hokage had kept this from his son to spare him the embarrassment of knowing his mother had spread her legs for another man… or he was keeping it from him to lower my guard.
Both were highly probable. Risky for Naruto? Sure. But in another timeline, the man did use his newborn son as the vessel for a demon. The demon turned out to be a pretty cool fox in the end, but Minato hadn't known that at the time.
The fox just went on a rampage killing in thousands and his first instinct was to seal in his infant son.
He was absolutely capable of gambling with his son's ignorance just to make a foe slip up.
The other alternative was that Minato didn't know. That Kushina had kept her infidelity buried. That was what I wanted to believe — but the odds were slim.
Even if she hadn't said a word, there would be signs. Subtle, maybe, but signs a Kage-level shinobi like Minato could pick up on. If not him, then his Anbu.
Wait.
Why hadn't there been Anbu?
Not here but at his house.
Hadn't he posted Anbu to guard her?
The thought hit me like a fist to the ribs. I hadn't considered them before, too caught up in my own recklessness. But Kushina wasn't just any woman. She was the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tails. The village's most dangerous, valuable asset.
And she was walking around unprotected?
That sounded absurd.
But the more I thought about it, the deeper the pit in my stomach grew. My head started pounding.
Fuck me…..
The more I thought about it, the more my paranoid instincts screamed at me like a drill sergeant— so I did what any reasonable, self-preserving degenerate would do.
I shut that shit down.
Not my problem. Not yet, at least.
It wasn't a great mindset. Problems were like magnets—they had a way of pulling you in whether you ignored them or not. But future me could deal with that mess.
Whatever came, came.
I'd either handle it… or it would handle me.
Either way, stressing over it now wouldn't change a damn thing.
I placed the plate on the table, the steam curling up in lazy tendrils. Nothing fancy—just rice, scrambled eggs, and peas. Simple. Efficient. Fuel.
Bare feet padded against the wooden floorboards behind me—tap, tap, tap—light and unhurried. The sound was almost... cute. Deceptively innocent, considering the woman making it was shamelessly naked. She didn't bother with clothes. Not even the sheet. Just bare skin, shameless confidence, and her smirk.
She plopped into the chair, propping one leg up, casual as anything, and peered at the plate.
"Wow," she deadpanned, poking at the peas with her chopsticks. "You really went all out, huh? Next you'll tell me you seasoned the rice."
I shoveled a bite into my mouth and spoke around it. "Bold words from someone who once ate a live scorpion on a dare."
She grinned, sharp and unrepentant. "Tasted better than this."
"Then go catch another one," I shot back, nodding toward the window. "I'll wait."
Anko stole a chunk of egg straight from my plate, popping it into her mouth with a hum. "Nah," she said, licking her fingers. "I'd rather watch you sulk while I eat your food."
Her full breasts swayed gently as she moved. Those boobs and dusky nipples I'd played with so thoroughly showed no sign of the abuse and affection I'd marked on them. Healthy pale skin. Chakra did wonders by merely being present on the body.
Anko caught me looking and smirked around a mouthful of food. "See something you like, chef?"
"I see something that's going back to bed after breakfast," I countered. A single pea 'accidentally' rolled down the slope of her cleavage before she deftly caught it and popped it in her mouth with an exaggerated wink.
Then, in that infuriatingly casual way of hers, she stretched and said, "Much as I'd love to lounge around all day, I got things to do. Still need to finish my mission report and swing by the hospital."
That made me pause. "Hospital?"
Anko flicked a glance at me, then stretched her arms behind her head. "Yeah. Gotta get something to make sure I don't end up barefoot and pregnant."
My frown deepened. "You're really set on this?"
Anko shrugged, but there was a sharper flicker in her eyes. "Not mother material, Eichin. And let's be real — Neither of us is cut out for that kind of responsibility." She twirled a chopstick between her fingers.
I leaned forward, studying her. "What does that mean?"
She scoffed, gesturing vaguely between us. "C'mon, you think either of us are ready to be parents? You're a damn horndog who can't keep his dick in check, and I'm…" She trailed off, but the meaning was clear.
I sighed, rubbing a hand down my face. "Kurenai did it."
Anko blinked. "Hah?"
"She had a daughter with Asuma." I shrugged. "You aren't the least bit envious of her?"
Anko didn't answer.
She just stared at her plate, rolling a lone pea back and forth with the tip of her chopsticks.
I exhaled through my nose, then stood up. Stepping around the table, I stopped behind her chair and, without a word, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.
Anko stiffened for a second before snorting. "Look at you, getting all soft on me. What, feeling guilty about railing me stupid?"
I didn't answer. Just held her.
A long moment passed. Then another.
Slowly, she leaned back into my chest. The tension bled out of her shoulders, and her head lolled slightly to the side, resting against me.
When she finally spoke, her voice was quieter, a little distant. "The life of a mother isn't for me, Eichin."
I squeezed her just a little tighter, but I didn't say anything. Just let her sit in it.
Another long moment passed.
Then, after a long beat of silence, she let out a breath. "Oi."
I grinned. "Hm?"
"Your hands, dumbass." She squirmed. "Are you seriously groping me right now?"
I gave her tits an appreciative squeeze, rolling the soft flesh between my fingers. Soft and warm. "They're right where they should be."
Anko huffed. "Pervert."
I leaned down, lips brushing her ear. "You can take whatever you want to keep from getting pregnant."
Anko heaved a sigh — relieved, but with a hint of something else. "Well, at least you're not being a pain about—"
"I'll still put a kid in you." I cut her off.
She froze. "…What."
"I'll do whatever it takes. You can take medicine, jutsu, anything you want — I'll still get you pregnant." I tightened my grip, pressing her flush against me. "I won't rest until you're carrying my child. I'll put a baby in you. Multiple babies. Five, at least."
Anko twisted in my arms, eyes wide. "Have you lost your damn—?!"
"I'll fuck you so full of my seed, your body won't have a choice." I grinned. "Every hole. Every day. Until it takes."
Her face went through a series of expressions—shock, outrage, disbelief—before settling on exasperated amusement. "You're…. insane."
"And I'm getting started right now."
Before she could react, I hauled her up to her feet. Her chair scraped back with a screech before I shoved it out of the way entirely. Then, without hesitation, I grabbed her by the hips, lifted her, then parted her thighs and set her knees on the edge of the table.
"Oi — the hell are you doing, you bastard?!" she barked, half outrage, half disbelief.
I palmed her between the legs, fingers sliding against slick heat.
"Why," I murmured, leaning close, "are you this wet?"
Anko tensed. Her lips curled into a snarl before she shot back, cheeks flushed. "That's your damn mess leaking out, idiot. Not my fault you pump me full like some broken well."
I hummed in mock thoughtfulness, rubbing slow, lazy circles against her. "Then I'd better refill you before you run empty."
I pushed my pants down in one smooth motion, cock springing free.
Anko gawked at me, then let out a sharp laugh—half amusement, half exasperation. "Are you fucking serious? You can't just—! F-fucking—ah!—bastard!"
I answered her with action. My hands gripped her waist, fingers pressing into the soft flesh of her hips as I drove into her, reclaiming the space I'd ruined last night. Anko shuddered, hands gripping the table edge for balance, her breath a sharp hiss between clenched teeth.
She was already loose, well-fucked, her slick walls clenching around me, still swollen and sensitive from last night's abuse. Her cunt was a hot, vice-like grip, flushed and glistening, stretched perfectly around my cock as if made for it.
Yet still gripping me with a heat that made my stomach coil tight. I bit down against the curve of her neck, earning a sharp gasp that turned into a groan as my fingers slid up, finding her breasts, kneading the soft weight of them with rough familiarity.
No teasing, no foreplay—just pure, unrelenting possession. My Iryonin pulsed through my fingertips, sending jolts of chakra straight to her nerves, and her back arched as first orgasm of the day ripped through her before I'd even really started.
She was a bit shorter than me, and every thrust forced her onto her toes, her calves flexing as she struggled to stay grounded. But I wasn't letting her. I pushed harder, made her stretch, made her strain, made her body arch and obey the rhythm I set. Chakra-infused fingertips dragged across her skin, teasing nerves already primed for overstimulation. Her muscles trembled, tightening around me, her body betraying her even as she tried to bite back her cries.
I wasn't holding back.
And yet, it surprised me—how my own release wasn't even close, while Anko had already come at least six times. I lost count after that.
She was flushed, panting, and then—her eyes flicked to the window.
I knew.
She didn't even get the chance to say it. I caught her lips with mine, swallowing the warning she was about to give. Her body was still shaking, still trying to recover, but I wasn't stopping.
Her juices spilled down her thighs, a puddle forming beneath her toes as her body convulsed around me again and again, her moans muffled against my lips.
The idea had taken root in my head—stronger than before, more intoxicating. The thought of leaving something inside her. A claim, a mark, something she couldn't just wash away.
My grip tightened. A final push, deep. A low growl left my throat as I held her there, her body clenching around me, and I poured into her. I could feel it, the heat spilling inside, coating every inch, making her take it whether she wanted to or not.
For a long moment, neither of us moved. Anko was limp against the table, her breath unsteady, her fingers twitching as if she wanted to push me away but lacked the strength.
And I—
I felt good. Too good.
This wasn't just fucking. Not just the pleasure—but the purpose. The intent. The knowledge that I was breeding her, that every pulse of my cock was another chance to plant my seed deep where it belonged.
I pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck, murmuring against sweat-dampened skin.
"I meant what I said," I told her, voice low. "I won't be satisfied until you're full."
Anko groaned, half-annoyed, half something else. Panting she glared up at me for a long moment, her face flushed, her body still trembling then said. "...You're a fucking animal."
I just smiled.
There was something wrong with me — or maybe just my dick — because despite everything, it was already stirring for another round. My body was ready, and oh fuck, I wanted to.
But time was not on my side.
So I let Anko dress, watching as she pulled on her mesh bodysuit with no underwear, her thighs still glistening. I couldn't help but wonder, amused, how well it would hold my seed when it inevitably started leaking from her.
She caught me smirking and rolled her eyes, muttering something sarcastic before heading for the door. Pausing just long enough to shoot me a lazy, two-fingered salute and a wink. "Try not to get killed before you make good on your words, huh?" She snorted. "Would hate to be haunted by a pervy ghost with a breeding kink."
"Try not to miss me too much," I shot back.
She barked a laugh and left, footsteps light, carefree—like she wasn't full on my cum.
I turned, stretching, naked. Let my gaze drift to the window. I didn't need to check. I could feel the presence on the other side.
"So, did you enjoy the show?"
Silence.
Then, after a long pause, a cold, distinctly feminine voice answered.
"The Hokage has summoned you."
Ah. The moment I dreaded had come, huh? But a summon?
I exhaled slowly, rolling the tension from my shoulders. My eyes flicked toward the window again, a smirk tugging at my lips. "What, no breakfast first? You've been here a while. You sure you're not hungry?" I said. "Tell me, was it at least entertaining? Or were you just taking notes?"
No answer.
Not even a shift in chakra.
And then — shunshin.
I barely caught the flicker of movement, but I swore I caught a wisp of purple before they vanished.
My smirk faded.
Right. Time to face the music.