I was born in a pretty average family—
"Yo! No one wants to hear your story that way. Like I care about your family status and whatnot."
Wait, who said that. well, tell me how then?
"Oh, did I say something earlier? Oh yeah, you were going to tell your story. Ammm… carry on."
Right, so how do I tell my story then? Ammm… Okay, I got it.
My parents were —
"Wove, wove, STOP! That's way too forward!"
Oh, right, sorry! Let me try again.
"Better make it good this time!"
Okay… A long time ago, in a town so dull you'd wish for a zombie apocalypse just for the excitement, a kid was born. That kid? Yeah, spoiler alert: it's me. And trust me, my story's anything but average.
But then… "A rocket fell on both of them, and they died."
What? Who's writing this nonsense?! Idiots, this is my story. I'm the one holding the pen (or keyboard, whatever), so get your sorry ass out of here and let me tell it my way!
Now, where was I? Oh yeah, my story… buckle up, foes. This is going to be boring, sad, depressing, fun, and every emotion you've ever felt—rolled into one chaotic ride.
I was saying, in a town so dull you'd wish for a zombie apocalypse just for the excitement, I was born. My
name? T̷̲̯̹͎̋͆͛͌̋͂̍̒̾͛o̴̢̞̪̥̪̹̜̪̲̙̎̿̓̄̇̅̊͛͂̓̿̚b̵̳̝̬̼̦̼̖̺̪̲̠̈́̋́̈́̀̎̏̍̚͘͘ĕ̸̺̲͕͙̘̟̄̆̍̾̈́̋̽̋͐̚̕y̵̨̢̛̯̙̅͆̆͊̿͛̀̑̾͘̕. Sounds normal enough, right? Well, buckle up, because my life was anything but normal.
"Hey, I think I should drop this third person shit."
"Hey, begin already!"
Alright, fine. Let's get this story rolling, where things actually start to happen.
I was born on January 1̷̨̛̗͍̙͚̑̔̈́͌͛̑͊̾̑̿͊6̴̛̜͚̹̦̈̓̔̓́̔̓̍̐͜͝͝t̷͍͕͉̻̹͗̽͑̔͑̊͂̀̐̓̏̕͠ͅḫ̷̨̛̪̹̰̝͍̠̩͒̎̏̈́̀̄̊͌̄̊̒͆̚,̷̩̬͉̖̰̥̦͊͂̅̎̀̓̾̽̑́̚ ̷̦̠̼̈̅͗̑̓͊̚̕̕͝2̷̜͂̿͌̀̽͒̄0̸̢̤̞͎͍̟̙̑̎͛̑̋̀̅̅̑͋̀̚͠2̵̛̦̑̈́̈́̾̈́̈̅͌̑̈́̇͝5̵̞͎̘̖̳̦̬̪̰̞̈̇̌̄̏̄̽͆͂̈́̕. Well, nothing special about that day—just another day where the
weight of my existence was added to this spinning rock, we call E̷̢̦̠̻͑͛́̓̓̀͛̑͘̕͠͝ȃ̴̼̤̻͎̳̋̍̓̊̄͆͛͗̎̚͠r̸̡͕̞̠̘̖̦̲̩̎̏͛̿́̇̊̏̆͂̄̎t̴͉̺͙̏̍̍͑̌́͂̾̿̋̚͠ͅḧ̷͉͕̜̥̗̹͕́̍̓̿͛̽̊̑̓͂͘͠ͅ. Yup, a whole lot of nothing, but hey, at least I'm here. R̷̡̡̲͎̠̪̠̞̅̈́̊͛̎̎̅̅̿̇͌̕͜è̶̲̹̼͕̗̯̖̍̾̈́̋̒̆͊̾̕͠b̴̛͍̝͎̠̥̤̓̍͗̅̒̏͗͋̈́̕̕ͅơ̴̛͚̹̪̼̖̘̒̽̊̓̿̾̽̔̕̚r̸̨̡̦͕̞̺̽̒̏̊̇͊͆̆̑͂̚͝n̶̛̙̹̺̹̳̍̿̾̿̈́̽̓͂̀͘͝ in some other world I still don't even know the name of, and the best part? I'm stuck in freaking nowhere.
This temple-like thing has leaks, with rainwater dripping down, and honestly, it looks like it could fall apart at any time. Oh, and by the way, it's a heavy storm outside—can't go out there. If I do, little "5̷̡̙̟̩̜̞̯̲̹̎͛͊̄̈́̐͆͐́̒͒͠-̷͖̗̙̲͆̅͊̈́͊̆͋̅͐͛͐y̶̝̬̟̜̻̌̋̽̊̈́̋̏͐͆̏͋͝ë̴̦̠̩̞̜̜͕̯̤́͗̑̆̍̋̆͋̏͒͘͠a̸̛͓̻͎̦͇̜͎͛̈́̽̋͂̐̌̈́̎́̚ȑ̸͎̦͔͉̲̲̗͑́͑͋̐̔̏͑͌̕-̶̹̜̺̝̲̽̈́̈́̅̆̓̔͆̅͛̕o̵̹̹̲̪̟̳̲̰̲͓͑̎̈́̇̋͗̋̋̿̈́͆̒l̷̨̡͎͓̠̙͚͔͙̎͂͋̅̑̍͆̆͊͆̓͜d̶̡̡̢͎̞̤̞͂̌̈́̐̆͂̋̅̓̚̕͝"
me will probably fly away like a plastic bag.
Oh wait, technically speaking, I'm 3̷̛̜̝͊̽̈́̽́͛͘̚͘͜͠5̵̥̻̲̾͗̓̅̾̽̍͂̋̏͠͝ ̷̡̛̮̗̜͂̀̊̓̽̎̀̔̾̕̕͠y̴̡̳̤͕̪̜̱̆̌̆͆͆̾͜͝e̸̡̛̳̖͆͂̀͌̀̋͛̇̍̕͠͝ą̵̛̞̳̠̗̳̼̳̜͖̑̿̋̒͌͑͌͌͘̕͠r̵͎͓͍̼̟͖̅́̽̇̇̈̅̕̕̚͘̚͠s̷̢̛̠̖̙̦̰̰̈́͗̄́̑̈́̑̕̕̚͠ͅ old back on E̷̢̦̠̻͑͛́̓̓̀͛̑͘̕͠͝ȃ̴̼̤̻͎̳̋̍̓̊̄͆͛͗̎̚͠r̸̡͕̞̠̘̖̦̲̩̎̏͛̿́̇̊̏̆͂̄̎t̴͉̺͙̏̍̍͑̌́͂̾̿̋̚͠ͅḧ̷͉͕̜̥̗̹͕́̍̓̿͛̽̊̑̓͂͘͠ͅ, and then—bam—god decides I should die.
Yeah, they exist. Didn't believe it till I kicked the bucket. So now, that makes me 4̷̢̡̝̯̪̰̲̹̙̎͆͋̿̽̏̾͘͘̕͝0̶̛͇̘̠̺̹̾̀͗̋̈́͆́̈́̕̚ ̶̛̛̻̟̞̠̗͆͆̌̄̏͋̏̈́̑ͅy̴̬̗͕̹͙̅̓̇̓̿̊͌̄̍̇̕̕ͅe̷̡̱̲͖̠̝̰̥͊̋̓̊̅̎̇̿̽̐̕̚ă̶̖̳̺̙͖̟̇̑͆̽̆̾̿̒̚̕̕͜͜r̷̨̗̲̰̗̜͍̳̦͊̀̆̅̌̑̓̑̈́̎̄͠s̶̡̝͚̲̼̞̏̎̈̈́̈́̓̓̆̇͐̚ old. That kinda
sucks.