Morning in the Azure Sky Sect began with the melodic ringing of a bell and the less melodic groans of tired disciples. Li Fan was jolted awake by Pang Wei shaking his shoulder. "Get up! Instructor Lu's coming for roll call!" Pang Wei hissed.
Li Fan sat up, hair sticking in all directions, drool on his cheek (he had dreamt of swimming in a soup bowl, unsurprisingly). "Mmrph, morning already?" He wiped his face and scrambled out of bed, joining the line of outer disciples just as Instructor Lu stormed in.
"Absentees from yesterday's training, front and center!" barked Instructor Lu. His beady eyes scanned the group, landing on Li Fan. "You! The one who thinks rules are optional." Li Fan stepped forward, giving his most apologetic bow. "Li Fan, was it? Enjoy your nap?"
"I deeply regret missing training, Instructor," Li Fan said, which was true only insofar as he regretted getting caught. "I won't let it happen again." This second part he said in a softer mumble, as a mental reservation added: because I'll be more discreet next time.
Instructor Lu harumphed. "Horse stance, now. And you will hold it with a boulder on your legs until I say stop." A couple of muscular attendants promptly rolled a heavy boulder onto Li Fan's thighs as he assumed the stance. His legs buckled slightly. "Ow... yes, Instructor," he groaned. So began his morning in agony, while others did stretches. Pang Wei shot him a sympathetic look but dared not intervene.
By the time the sun was fully up, Li Fan's legs were jelly and Instructor Lu finally relented. "Let that teach you discipline. Dismissed!" As the disciples dispersed for breakfast, Li Fan hobbled behind, silently cursing that he had to burn precious energy in exercise rather than enjoying food.
At breakfast, Li Fan piled his tray even higher than yesterday to compensate for his suffering. Pang Wei whispered, "You okay? You look like you'll fall over." Li Fan just shoveled porridge into his mouth, moaning in delight at the sweet red bean buns. Nothing like food to cure all ills.
Before he could finish, a stern-faced steward approached their table. "Li Fan? By order of Elder Kang, you are assigned to assist in the kitchens this afternoon." A few nearby disciples raised eyebrows. Usually, kitchen duty was for punishment, but the steward's tone was oddly respectful.
Li Fan nodded eagerly. "Yes sir! I'll report right after morning classes." The steward left. Pang Wei patted Li Fan's shoulder. "Tough luck, brother. Cleaning pots instead of napping."
Li Fan only smiled. If only Pang Wei knew how much he preferred a kitchen to a training yard. "I'll manage," he said.
That morning, during a lecture on cultivation theory, Li Fan struggled to keep his eyes open. The instructor droned about spiritual meridians and the great path to immortality. Li Fan's mind kept wandering to the potential lunch recipes he could try. At one point, the instructor asked him a question—something about the five elemental balances. Li Fan blurted the first thing that came to mind: "If you add too much fire, you burn the stew—I mean, um, the balance is destroyed." A few snickers followed. The instructor glared, unsure if Li Fan was being metaphorical or just stupid. He mercifully moved on.
Finally, the afternoon arrived, and Li Fan reported to the sect kitchens as ordered. The head chef was a burly middle-aged man named Chef Liu, not an actual cultivator but a mortal employed by the sect. He ran the kitchen like a military camp, barking orders at his assistant cooks. When Li Fan introduced himself, Chef Liu squinted. "So you're the troublemaker who snuck in last night, eh? Elder Kang told me to put you to work." He thrust a basket of potatoes at Li Fan. "Start peeling. And no snacking on them raw!"
Li Fan saluted with the peeler. "Yes, Chef!" He sat at a corner and began peeling diligently. He didn't mind; it gave him an excuse to be around all the ingredients. He sniffed the air—today they'd be making a grand stew and buns for dinner. His hands worked automatically on the potatoes as he mentally played with ideas to improve the stew.
As he worked, another young man in cook's robes joined him. He had a large birthmark on his forehead and a friendly smile. "New assistant? I'm Luo Bing, one of the assistant cooks."
"Li Fan," he replied. They chatted quietly, Li Fan learning that the kitchen staff included a mix of outer disciples working part-time and hired help. Luo Bing was a proper cook's apprentice and seemed passionate about culinary arts. "I hear you impressed Elder Kang with fried rice?" Luo Bing whispered. News traveled fast.
Li Fan chuckled. "It was nothing special, really." Just the best thing Elder Kang probably ever tasted, he thought mischievously.
Suddenly, a commotion from outside the kitchen door made them pause. Raised voices. The door banged open and a tall, robed figure strode in with authority. It was an elder Li Fan hadn't met: Elder Hao, head of the Alchemy Hall. His silver hair was tied up in a high bun and he had the perpetual scowl of someone who sniffed one too many caustic potions.
Behind Elder Hao trailed Guo Hei, who wore a smug grin. "That's him, Elder Hao," Guo pointed at Li Fan. "That's the disciple who misused alchemical ingredients. I thought the Alchemy Hall should be informed."
Li Fan froze, mid-peel. Oh great, Guo Hei had apparently reported his midnight cooking. Elder Hao glared at Li Fan as if he were a stain on the floor. "You are the one who stole Fiery Spirit Pepper for a frivolous snack? Do you know how precious that herb is? It catalyzes high-tier pills! And you tossed it in a wok with rice!" His voice rose with each sentence.
Chef Liu and his staff backed away, not wanting to get involved in sect politics. Li Fan stood to face the elder, hands still holding a potato and peeler. "Elder Hao, I apologize. I didn't realize its value. I just used a tiny bit... and it was donated to me by the spirit ox delivery..." He knew excuses might not go far, but he tried.
Elder Hao snorted. "Ignorance is no excuse. Outer disciples have been expelled for less." Guo Hei's grin widened; he clearly hoped for that outcome.
Li Fan felt a chill. Getting kicked out would mean no more free meals! This had to be stopped. "Elder, I have already accepted punishment by Elder Kang. I'm doing kitchen duty now as penance. And I promise I will replace the Fiery Spirit Pepper... somehow." He had no idea how, but he would say anything now.
Elder Hao was about to retort when another voice cut in: "Replace it? Do you have any idea how to cultivate that herb? Preposterous." From behind Elder Hao stepped a younger man in lavish robes—clearly an inner disciple of high status. He had handsome but haughty features and looked at Li Fan like one might look at a bug. "Elder Hao, let me handle this nobody. I'm Duan Mu, core disciple and your direct student." He flashed a smile that did not reach his eyes. "I insist on disciplining this fool for disrespecting the alchemical arts."
Elder Hao gave a thin smile. "Very well, Duan Mu. A short lesson in humility, nothing permanent, hmm?" He gave Guo Hei an approving nod as well for bringing this to his attention.
Before Li Fan fully processed it, Duan Mu flicked his sleeve and a burst of force sent the potato flying from Li Fan's hand. "Meet me in the sparring yard, half an hour. If you don't show, it counts as forfeiting and I'll have grounds to throw you out of the sect for insubordination." He then leaned in slightly and sniffed. "Though I might not need to hit you—I'll just stand upwind and let the grease dripping off you do the job." His insult was elegant but nasty.
Li Fan bristled. Insults he could endure, but the prospect of an actual duel with a presumably strong core disciple was terrifying. Core disciples were usually far above outer ones. He could try to talk his way out... or maybe, just maybe, use some unorthodox method to survive.
Guo Hei chuckled, adding, "Half an hour, outer disciple. If you can still walk after, maybe you'll remember your place." He looked forward to the show.
As they left, Chef Liu slapped a cleaver on the counter, startling Li Fan. "This is a kitchen, not a battleground! If you're going to fight, take it outside and don't bleed on my vegetables." It was his way of expressing concern, perhaps.
Luo Bing whispered urgently, "Duan Mu is a top inner disciple, skilled in fire techniques. You're no match... unless..." He eyed the stove. "Unless you can outsmart him."
Li Fan swallowed. Outsmart, indeed. His mind raced. He had half an hour. He had to use what he knew—cooking and chaos. "Luo, do we have any extra chili powder? And maybe some oil? Also, is there a dish that produces a lot of smoke?" A plan, crazy as it was, began to form.