She believed that if she was confronted with someone weak and innocent who was undeserving of such treatment then it would almost be like she would be in a position where she could harm others who would remind her of herself from her past.
Although she wanted to avoid becoming just like those people who had once abused her or see herself in those she was being tasked to target, the task had already been accepted and there was no going back.
Perhaps it would be the same in the future if she saw herself as a target and saw them as innocent or weak and she did not wish to do them any harm.
Perhaps there would be an instinct to try and save them almost like trying to save her past self.
No matter how much she tried to bury her personal feelings to help her better adapt to her new environment, there were just too many complex things left over in her that still needed to be resolved.
