DREAM
In the dark room where the potatoes are being peeled, Jared sits alone in front of sacks of potatoes, ready to be peeled. It's located in the deepest part of the pantry, where the chefs never check unless they need to retrieve the potatoes for cooking.
It's just him, the knife, and the potatoes.
He's forgotten how long he's been there — no one talks to him, not even the one who's the reason he's there in the first place: Charles.
An obsession with no outcome — approval to be sought but never found.
Jared's vision starts to blur; it feels like fatigue is setting in. But he has to keep going. If he peels enough potatoes, Charles will notice and understand how hard he's trying to fight for him.
That's when a gentle hand touches the knife he's holding.
And Jared stops.
He recognizes the hand.
It's the hand of the woman who raised him.
He can still remember her voice as she speaks beside him, "I've been watching you since you were a baby. I watched you grow — from crawling to running, from blabbering to singing. And I always knew… you are meant to be so much more than this... Jared."
Jared caught his own reflection in the knife's surface. His eyes widened in shock when he saw his own face—hollow, empty.
Jumpscare.
Breathing becomes difficult.
Jacques wakes up from his dream, gasping for air like a fish out of water.
He raises his head from the open pages of the manual books he's been trying to absorb for hours, but nothing is sinking in. He just can't memorize anything, and it frustrates him even more because tomorrow is exam day. He has to fix his grades to prove to Charles that he can change — to show how much he wants to repair their connection and prove that he's no longer the idiot dreamer Charles used to know.
"I have to keep studying!" Jacques drinks some fresh water and returns his focus to the manual book.
However, his mind drifts again — this time, to Ethan. Without realizing it, it's been a week since they last saw each other. And just when he starts thinking about him, Ethan's message arrives on his phone: "Have you studied well? Don't forget to eat."
Jacques replies, "Yes, thx."
Although it was a lie.
He always tells Ethan lies — but somehow, Ethan always sees right through him.
Ethan replies again, "Come here if you don't like the dorm food. I'll cook you something, just ask."
Jacques looks at the clock on the side of the table. It's 2 AM.
Jacques texts back, "Why are you still up?"
Ethan takes some time to reply: "Today is my early shift. Come to my flat once you're done with the exam. If you pass, no matter the grade, I'll make you rica with mozzarella and ham. If you nail them all, I'll go camping with you to the Mountain Hegs. Just don't tell my people ;)"
Jacques grins, remembering how they argued over his order for vegan rica — and Ethan served him a burger instead.
Jacques replies back: "Suddenly, I really want to nail the exam. Just prepare yourself!"
Ethan replies: "Then I'll get back to work. I shall disturb you no more. You'll be greatly missed — especially when someone orders a burger. :*"
***
It was 3 a.m., three days after that conversation. Ethan was mopping the floor when he heard the familiar sound of Jacques's motor engine. His smile appeared even before he looked outside to see who was coming—though he didn't need to, because that boy was already entering the diner, holding a single red rose and smiling wide as he spotted Ethan.
"Look at that bright smile!" Ethan put his mop in the bucket and walked quickly to embrace Jacques.
"I missed you, bro," Jacques whispered as he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Ethan.
Ethan combed his fingers through Jacques's short hair. "Did you make it?"
"Yeah, I did," Jacques smiled proudly.
"What's the grade?"
Jacques glanced away. "Uhmmm… not an F."
Jacques waits patiently until Ethan finishes his evening shift so they can head straight to Ethan's flat. He had already done grocery shopping the day before to prepare the meat rica—against its vegan origins—to celebrate the end of exams.
While Ethan is cooking, Jacques takes his revenge by recording Ethan's activity.
"You don't have to document the whole thing. I already have plenty on my YouTube," Ethan protests with a visible smile.
"Now you know how it feels to be recorded all the time?"
"Jacques, come on… that's different!" Ethan places his fingers on his chest. "You can always check my channel. But you? You don't like to document yourself. Traveling vlogs are popular, you know? You could get some extra income."
"Yeah, but editing is such a drag."
***
They sit on the balcony, surrounded by colorful, blooming flowers in the pots. It's a beautiful balcony. Up in the sky, the clouds disappear elsewhere, making way for the glittering jewels of the night sky to emerge above them.
Taking a bite, Jacques knows that rica with meat is always delicious—just like kebab or a burger.
While he enjoys his special rica, Ethan checks Jacques's grade report to see if he passed the deal and earned that trip to Mountain Hegs—where they'd enjoy the sunrise with two cups of tea, just as Ethan prefers over coffee.
"You're really excelling in physical strength and quick thinking. I'd say you're street smart, Jacques," Ethan narrows his eyes, "like a criminal."
Jacques flashes a grin but covers it up by taking another bite of rica. Ethan didn't missed the grin. It says something.
"Is that your goal? Is that why you're in the police academy?" Ethan sounds like he's joking—but all this time, he's always seen right through Jacques, so his words don't sound like a joke at all.
"What if? What if I'm a criminal? Would you still like me?" Jacques asks.
"You're still 15—still got room to avoid that dark path. But knowing you, if you ever became a criminal, I bet it'd be because the government went against your moral code. And if you ever became a thief, you'd steal hearts instead of gold," Ethan smiles casually.
"So," Jacques wipes his hands free of breadcrumbs, "are you coming with me to Mountain Hegs?"
Ethan looks at the report card again. Technically, a B isn't enough—but considering Jacques usually gets F's or D's, this is a huge achievement.
"Sure. Let's go to Mountain Hegs."
Ethan wanted to go grocery shopping before they went hiking in the mountains. Preparation, he said. Better safe than sorry later.
Jacques pushed a trolley filled with groceries—instant noodles, tea, some medicine, and even new jackets.
"Ethan, you don't need to buy all this. I mean, just MRE biscuits, cereal, tea, and we're good," Jacques says, picking up an apple from the trolley, as this thing will only take space in the bag.
"We need to prepare for everything—better safe than sorry!"
Ethan keeps adding more things like meat, cheese, and vegetables. While doing that, he asks for Jacques's opinion about which brand they should choose or which snack would be better to eat at a campsite.
It's clear that Ethan has never gone camping before. After they get home, they watch TV shows while eating snacks together. Ethan leans on Jacques's shoulder and falls asleep.
Jacques looks at Ethan's sleeping face. He looks so peaceful.
***
They climb the mountain together the next day. Ethan finally understands why Jacques only brought MRE biscuits instead of real food for grilling or barbecuing—it's less complicated.
"Then why didn't you take out the vegetables and apples from my bag?" Ethan protests while adjusting his glasses.
"So you know why I don't do that," Jacques laughs at Ethan's tired face.
Once they find a good camping spot, Jacques's builder hands quickly construct the camp. They hide inside for an hour as heavy rain drenches everything outside.
They get wet, of course—but the mini stove Jacques brought is enough to keep their bodies warm. And under that rain, Jacques steals his chance to kiss Ethan. Ethan embraces him tightly in return.
The rain quickly shifts into a peaceful night. Sitting at the peak of the mountain not far from their campsite, they brew tea together and look up at the sky, counting the stars.
"From there… to there…" Jacques traces the stars with his finger. "For me, it might only take 30 hours. But for you, who stays on Alayan, time might pass for…"
He do the calculation Sulu taught him.
But when he realizes how much time will pass for Ethan, he can't finish the sentence. And suddenly, it clicks.
He finally understood why Ethan recorded everything. Ethan couldn't go with him because of his astrophobia. That's why… he made sure to gather all the memories he could before the time came for them to part.
And all those requests to pick him up and accompany him to the grocery store—it wasn't about the errands. He just wanted to know how it felt to have a life they might never have—a simple life where they did grocery shopping together, cooked dinner, and supported each other side by side.
It seems like Ethan is making the most of every minute they have together—before Jacques leaves his life forever.
Ethan gently grabs Jacques's finger, the one pointing at the night sky. "Which planet do you want to travel to first?"
Jacques can't answer.
Perhaps… I shouldn't pursue that dream at all.
Maybe I could be happier too… if I became a policeman instead of a voyager.That way, I could be with Ethan in a simple, humble life together.