Should I be happy? Remember the night we enjoyed a chaotic dinner due to a small fight, like a married couple. John managed to silence all the protests that came out of my mouth, so we sat at one table again and enjoyed dinner with random conversations, drinking more wine so that I could forget the fact that I was a poor girl without love.
One thing that I thought was the next level was when he walked me to the front of the room. Then we became awkward and unknowingly kissed. We almost did it.
Yes, that was right. We almost made love. However, I turned him down. Could you imagine? Clara Smith turned down a guy like John Armando. It made me regret it for a while, but I forgot about it afterward.
I didn't want him to shout Hell's name when he climaxed. I wanted us to do it out of love or, if not out of love, at least not as an escape.
Again, no matter how hard I resisted, I was John's property from the moment the marriage occurred. He could fuck me whenever he wanted. But there was only one thing I wanted. Love. I realized it wouldn't be easy to get, especially from John, so I unconsciously put my ego first to maintain my dignity.
"Hi, Clara," said someone who made me lift my face as I was reading a journal in the library. There was nothing I could do but this. At least by reading a lot of books or keeping myself busy, I could briefly forget how messed up my love life was and my stupidity in signing that crazy contract John made. "Can I join you here?"
I nodded and shifted my body, allowing her to take her place beside me. For a few moments, we were lost in silence until she started.
"I have an invitation for you, Clara." She gave me an invitation that, when exposed to a gust of wind, already emitted a fragrant scent, made me even more unable to shake off the envy gnawing at my heart.
I was never a good friend. I'd get jealous when boys swarmed Jenna like beetles swarming flowers or whenever Jenna got the best grades in class even though she didn't try too hard—she seemed to be blessed with an intelligence that I could never surpass even if I read dozens of journals in a night. Also, when she could always win Blake's heart at every turn—even after they'd been separated for so long by my actions.
I was about to get up, but Jenna grabbed my arm and looked at me with an expectant gaze accompanied by a sentence that always managed to make me lose and eventually become friends with her again, even though I realized I shouldn't be around her because of my evil nature.
"Clara, please... I will never be happy without you at our wedding," she said. My tears would have broken out if I were in my room right now, not because of the emotion of hearing this kind-hearted girl's words but because she was always the good character in every story. Even in stories where I was the main character—or she actually wasn't as good as I thought, it was just me who was too naive.
"We're not that close to making you feel that way."
"Clara, you can be upset or angry with me, but please don't hate me."
Another sentence that felt so manipulative and instantly sucked away my strength to fight back—only Jenna could do that, and I hated always being defeated by that one magic sentence that she knew would always get me down.
I had always been too attached to her, not wanting her to have any other friends besides me and not allowing her to have a boyfriend, but as time passed, I realized that it didn't matter if she had a boyfriend except Blake. Blake was my childhood best friend, and Jenna had taken him away. We were close, but eventually, we became distant because of Jenna.
"Venice, the romantic city of the century. You and Dr. Armando will have a great time on your honeymoon there. Blake has taken care of the accommodations, and I picked out a dress for you to wear as my bridesmaid."
What the hell! She made decisions without asking, and I didn't like that. For one thing, she was so much richer that I was dependent and a servant before her.
"We'll see if John can make time for it."
I grabbed the object on the table and left without wanting to deal with her anymore. There were too many painful things that might have come between us. No, I wasn't going to blame her for causing me pain. I did, too. Our friendship was too toxic to maintain. Even though Jenna was the only one who was always willing to be friends with me, I still couldn't be nice to her.
Never mind...
***
"Did you get Jenna's wedding invitation?" John asked, which made me awkward initially, but then I nodded. This was the first time we had casually eaten at the same table, like a married couple or perhaps a pair of business colleagues.
"Did you get it, too?" I asked back, and he nodded.
"Ryan didn't receive an invitation, too bad," he said. His statement just now made me uneasy. Did this mean our plan wasn't working? That meant John was going to divorce me, right? Wasn't that great news?
"So what?"
"What?"
"Jenna is getting married, which means our plan failed. Will this contract end?"
John put down the cutlery and focused on me, making me misbehave again. The last few days after the dinner incident, I had become slightly uncomfortable looking at him.
"Do you think married people can't get divorced?" he asked rhetorically.
What exactly was going through his head? Was he telling me to separate Jenna and Blake? What did he want?
"John, don't force me to do this. I can't promise you if I have to do this again. I can't–"
"It comes back to you. If you no longer want Blake, that's fine. However, if you dare to violate the contract, you know what I can do to you." I looked at John with anxiety starting to fill my chest cavity. He was still enjoying his food before putting his fork back on his plate. "Just do what you can. I'll do the rest. After all, you are a woman. I understand if you don't have the guts. I just hope you will never betray me. Remember, this agreement is only for us to know."
What should I do, and what would he do for the rest? Had he organized a plan without my knowledge? He wouldn't kill Doctor Karl to bring Hell to Jenna's wedding, right? Because it doesn't make sense if Doctor Karl didn't get an invitation from Jenna. Or did Jenna already want nothing to do with that man?
"Alright. I'll do what you want. I'll flirt with Blake, and you will do the rest, right?" I said. John seemed to widen his eyes but then began to focus on me.
"Are you sure you'll do it? Just like you did to Blake once?"
"No, I'm not. Not that extreme. I can't do the same thing as back then. I don't have the guts; you're right. I'll probably lure Blake and make him not come to the wedding room during the party. Is that enough, or do you have another idea?"