"Why are we here again?" Sakura asked, turning to Satsuki and looking not unlike she was being subjected to the worst sort of torture imaginable. 'Here', in this particular instance, happened to be a rather sizable civilian cruiser that was part deluxe yacht and part casino boat. Normally, these tended to be illegal and thus hired missing nin who wouldn't blab for their security.
However, this time it all happened to be legal and approved by the necessary officials… because it was an international boat that limited itself to the gambling regulations present in the countries it visited and the other… entertainment… present was also very much legal in most nations.
It was a diplomatic mission which involved all five great nations in one of the Fire Daimyo's more noticeable efforts to maintain the peace between the ninja villages, understandable given how bloody and costly their wars were. Of course, he'd actively asked for Team 7 to be the guards who were to represent Konoha in this.
None of the active members of Team 7, except Kakashi, knew that they were chosen because Oda Nobunaga believed they represented the values Konoha liked to espouse better than anyone else. Team 7 had been separated, with Naruko being assigned to the upper deck, where the nobles gathered (mostly for her ability to pass herself off as a cute little waitress) and the other two, Sakura and Satsuki, being assigned to guard the kitchens (because Satsuki kept glaring at everyone who so much as eyed her body and Sakura had been far too nervous to join Naruko).
This, after the third day, had them both sick of all the white everywhere and the smell of the delicious food they'd never taste and would be forced to just watch as it went by to serve the rich, leaving the kunoichi that made sure that food wasn't tampered with to starve in the kitchens. Not fair at all. At least, the crew of the kitchens shared their own meals with them.
"Because Naruko whined and threw a tantrum about our shitty D ranks." From her language alone, it was clear that Satsuki was incensed to a point beyond human thought. Indeed, she was so angry that her anger could power the entirety of Konoha for three weeks, two days and six hours. She was a very specific person when it came to her anger level. That came from several anger management classes (that never worked to stop Naruko from sending her into righteous fury).
"I don't know what she was complaining about, usually she has fun doing them." Sakura spoke, sighing and rubbing the bridge of her nose In clear exasperation. "Why did we have to take this one, though?"
That's when Kakashi came from behind them, placing a hand on each of their foreheads and making a right mess of their carefully groomed hairs when he actually got his hands in position to do so. He was, very clearly, drunk off his ass. "Because I deserve fun every once in a while too, don't you think?"
He moved with the certain sway of a drunk man who couldn't control his limbs quite right and seeing how he was leaning on them for support, despite being much taller than them, he would quite likely fall face first on the floor if they shrugged him off their shoulders.
Plus the smell. That one made it obvious.
"You're always having fun. In fact, do you even train?" Satsuki mused. "You certainly don't teach us much."
"You wound me, Satsuki! Right here!" Kakashi spoke, gesturing towards his heart. "Wait, no, you don't. 'Cause I'm not gonna train you guys until you can work together well, and while you can get your act together when things are going smoothly, so far, I've yet to see you guys work well under pressure. So I decided to use a C rank mission as a test to see if you guys are ready to actually start real training." The silver haired jounin explained.
Sakura blinked. "Wow. I didn't think Sensei could be this honest." She commented, looking at Satsuki, who nodded in agreement with the sentiment of her words.
"I'm a very honest drunk." Kakashi said, proudly. "Or maybe I'm a pirate who's using a henge to look like the famous Copycat Ninja, poured alcohol on myself and acted drunk so you wouldn't notice the discrepancies in character between me and the actual Kakashi." The silver haired man spoke, raising his head slightly.
"Pirates?" Sakura asked, raising an eyebrow. "We're on the kitchens of a heavily guarded deluxe cruiser. Besides, there hasn't been another ship in sight in the last four hours, how would anyone have boarded us?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Maybe they infiltrated the ship beforehand? You've gotta think this through." He informed, yawning as he did. "This thing has stopped on sixteen ports…"
Satsuki snorted. "We're still deep inside the ship, which is guarded by several genin teams from various countries. There are at least two dozen genin and at least eight jounin aboard the ship. What kind of idiot pirate would try to take it?"
"It could happen. There are very daring criminals out there." Kakashi said, making his single eye make that weird smile thing. "Why, there are some who could sneak up on me, knock me out, tie me up, lock me in a closet for cleaning supplies and do the same with several of the other shinobi so that they could take out all the genin teams at once."
"That would require a ridiculous amount of preparation. Far more than any two bit pirate could pull off. Not to mention, the ability necessary to pull off such convincing transformations would put most of the shinobi involved in such an elaborate ambush at a level in which they could just hold the genin hostage instead of trying to go for the much harder target that the jounin present." Sakura spoke, rolling her eyes.
"You're absolutely correct!" Kakashi said, ruffling her hair a little and smiling widely under his mask.
"…Oh, shit." Satsuki spoke, eyes widening, as every muscle in her body tensed at once. She tried to elbow the man who had an arm around her shoulders, but she felt a horrible shock come from her forehead, numbing all of her muscles at once.
Sakura didn't get the opportunity to even try to get out of the situation before she was similarly stopped from doing anything.
The fake Kakashi exploded into smoke, revealing a man in a long red coat trimmed in gold, with similarly golden buttons that glinted with the artificial light of the hallway that led to the kitchens. Even the epaulettes on his shoulders seemed polished. The hat on the man's head was similarly fancy, being the standard pirate captain had with a skull and crossbones done in golden thread. The man wasted no time in tying them up, pulling at their restraints to make sure they held tight.
Both of them were made incapable of even squirming loose by the tight bondage that kept their arms locked in place being tied in such a way that pulling anywhere on the rope would tighten a knot somewhere else, causing pain that would disrupt the concentration necessary for an escapist's technique. Usually by way of choking them whenever they moved their arms or legs.
"You two girls really need a whole lot more training." The man informed, cracking his neck. "You've got a very famous teacher who's very easy to imitate for short periods of time." He added, licking his lips as he did. "I have to say, it was real fun stalking you gals."
"H-How did you… know… that Sensei… didn't train us..?" Sakura asked, gasping in between every few words, feeling the pain of her shock. Seeing this, Satsuki grit her teeth, looking up at the grinning pirate after she confirmed that Sakura wasn't as affected as she might seem at first glance.
"Well, it's what you two have been complaining about for the last three days." The Pirate said, shrugging. "Anyway, you might be noticing your chakra being difficult to grasp right now. You see, that seal I put on your foreheads earlier gave you an electric shock that caused a certain drug you've been ingesting for the last three days to kick into action. Usually, it's harmless, but when an electric shock courses through the blood that contains it, it happens to relax the body in such a way that molding chakra becomes nigh impossible. Nifty little thing, that. Using that on my former jounin sensei so I could rape her, I did love her tight little ass I must say, was what got me kicked out of Kiri. The funny thing is that if I had killed her, nobody would've batted an eyelash."
"…Please tell me this isn't going where I think it's going." Satsuki said, the slightest bit of panic filtering into her voice. The same panic that had seized Sakura and made her freeze up at the implication of the pirate's words. Satsuki, meanwhile, was thinking about how she was gonna rip the cooks apart when she got out of her bonds.
"Oh, goodness, no!" The Pirate yelled, shaking his head. "You're what, twelve? You don't even have tits and your asses are no different from a boy's, and I'm very straight, thank you. Heck, I don't think you're big enough to take me in yet. Maybe in a few years, if you're still alive." He said, rubbing his chin and grinning widely. "Yep! You'll both grow up into very fine ladies, most kunoichi do." He said, nodding to himself. "But right now, you wouldn't be able to give me an erection no matter how hard you tried."
"Fuck you." Satsuki said, surprisingly offended at being told she wasn't good enough for a goddamn filthy rapist.
"Maybe in three years, girly." The man said, giving her a lecherous grin. "Anyway, the boys at the kitchens aren't as picky as me. They'll be here for you two in a few minutes at the most. Wait here, okay? Don't move a muscle!" He said, in a condescending tone that seemed as if he were talking to a naughty and bratty little kid. He had also crouched down, making the black material of his pants bunch up and opening his coat, showing that he had a relatively short blade held on a belt, the once pure white sheath now yellowed with age and innumerable stains that were never cleaned, which meant he was probably proficient enough in combat that Satsuki didn't really trust her chances.
Satsuki growled, while Sakura whimpered. The man chuckled.
"I'm gonna go look for your third teammate. Now that girl I'll keep as a personal pet. You two will be beautiful when you grow up, no doubt, but the kind of beauty that girl will be only comes once every hundred years or so. I'm afraid you don't meet my standards, gals." The man was ugly, with several missing teeth, the remaining ones being blackened and clearly rotting, so his smile was even uglier. His face carried the scars of combat, missing half of his lower lip as well as his right eye and a chunk of his nose.
The white ruffled shirt he wore had several holes that allowed Satsuki to peer past it, showing the many scars on the man's chest.
She cursed softly, it was clear this guy was out of her league if he'd survived to have that many scars being a pirate. Criminals didn't survive those kinds of wounds if they lost the fights that caused them.
The only part that was remotely clean about the man was the immaculate red coat and hat. Then again, the coat was the very color of blood, so it was possible it just wasn't noticeable…
And then the man turned around, the quick movement flaring his cloak around him, and left, his step quick and his movements hasty. Satsuki smirked, knowing that the man left quickly because it was very likely that something had gone horribly wrong in his plans. Soon, she understood why she got that feeling since the sounds of battle came with an explosion of noise, literally since an explosion was the first thing they heard.
"Sakura." Satsuki began, wiggling over so she could see Sakura's wrists tied together, then worming her way to her. "I'm gonna try to bite through the ropes." She informed, her tone even and calm.
Sakura, still frightened by the thought of meeting the most horrible fate explained to them by the academy, for either kunoichi or shinobi, simply nodded and tried to calm herself. A glance at her face told Satsuki that Sakura was barely holding her tears of frustration, anger and fear in. It was, if nothing else, a valiant struggle.
The Uchiha didn't know if she'd be just as terrified if she hadn't already had a moment that was very much in the 'Worst Moment In My Life' category already. Oh, she was certainly afraid, but her pride didn't let her fear overcome her… not again. She'd already let her fear overcome her once when dealing with the insane Hyuuga Heiress, and she knew that it wouldn't be productive in the least.
So, the Uchiha set herself to her task, deciding not to try and speak words of comfort and encouragement to Sakura. Actions spoke louder than words, after all.