(POV: Sophia)
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We were sprawled across the benches in the school courtyard like survivors of a mild academic apocalypse.
The exams were finally over, and our collective energy levels were somewhere between "hibernating bear" and "Wi-Fi-less teenager." Results weren't out yet, so we were trapped in that awful limbo zone where it was too early to relax but too late to still panic.
Ethan had his head on the table, face-down like a dramatic poet. Ava was flicking a bottle cap at a pigeon. I was pretending to read a novel but mostly just watching leaves fall like symbolic representations of our grades.
Leo was sitting next to us, silently sipping on cold coffee from that same café he always visited—the one with the weirdly aggressive pastry names.
No one was really talking, and the silence was just starting to feel heavy when Leo, in his usual calm, almost-too-casual voice, said:
"So… something strange happened last week."
Ethan looked up immediately. "Wait, strange by your standards or by normal people standards?"
Leo tilted his head, considering. "...Maybe both."
Ava sat up straighter. "Okay, you can't just say that and not explain."
Leo looked faintly amused, like someone who had just remembered a very specific dream involving a llama and a kazoo. He didn't look mischievous—he never did—but there was this slight tilt to his expression, the kind that said, "This is going to be bizarre, but I'm not that surprised it happened to me."
He took another sip. "So I was walking back from the bookstore near the station…"
Ethan perked up. "Wait, the one with the cat who looks like it wants to stab you?"
"Yeah," Leo nodded, completely serious. "Mr. Meowgi."
Ava burst out laughing. "I knew you named it that.Menacing presence. 10/10. Would pet again."
Leo continued as if he were describing mild weather. "Exactly. Anyway, I was passing by when this girl—random girl, someone I've never seen before—just runs up to me and goes, 'There you are!' and grabs my arm."
I blinked. "She what?"
"She grabs my arm," he repeated, "No 'hi,' no 'sorry,' nothing," he continued. "She just holds on and says, 'Quick, act like we're dating.'"
Ethan sat bolt upright. "WHAAAAAT?!"
Ava leaned in, horrified but intrigued. "Did you… ask why?"
Leo shook his head like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Before I could ask anything, she dragged me into a café. We sat down. She held my hand."
I paused, halfway through my notes. "Wait. Like, full-on couple cosplay?"
"Yup," Leo said, popping the 'p' like this was just another Tuesday for him.
Ava was full-on gaping now. "I'm sorry, what part of this is normal to you?!"
"I mean, I didn't really have time to process," Leo replied. "So I ask, 'Okay, do I get a name?' She just said—"
He paused and he cleared his throat and mimicked a dramatic and flustered tone, though his expression remained strangely neutral.
"'My ex is here with his new girlfriend. Make him jealous.'"
The three of us stared at him.
Ethan's eyes were as wide as saucers. "You're kidding."
"I wish," Leo replied, swirling his straw like this was an average tale about mild weather, not full-on emotional espionage.
"You were drafted into emotional warfare by a complete stranger," I said.
Leo nodded again. "That's an accurate summary."
Ethan looked both horrified and fascinated. "Okay, but what did you say?"
"I told her okay," Leo said calmly, "So she starts telling me all these details. 'You're my boyfriend, we've been together for three months, we met at yoga—'"
"You do yoga?" Ava asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I was about to ask her that too," Leo said cheerfully. "But I figured asking might ruin the illusion. So I just nodded."
"What did you even talk about?" I asked, now completely distracted from my notes and also vaguely scandalized.
Leo shrugged. "Nothing too wild. She did most of the talking. Kept adding fake couple facts. 'Remember when we went hiking?' 'That trip to Mahabaleshwar was magical.' I just kept smiling and saying 'Yeah, totally.'"
Ethan looked personally offended. "You were an NPC in someone else's rom-com."
"You played along?" Ava asked, incredulous.
"Well, she looked really stressed," Leo said, like that explained everything. "And it wasn't hard. I just smiled and nodded. She did most of the talking."
I groaned. "This is insane. What did the ex do?"
Leo swirled his coffee. "He noticed. Looked confused. Then mad. Then tried to 'accidentally' walk past our table."
"And?" Ethan leaned in dramatically.
Leo sipped his coffee again. "She leaned closer and said, 'Kiss me.'"
Dead. Silence.
Ethan made a noise like a dying robot. Ava's jaw dropped.
"And you…?" I asked.
Leo looked directly at us and said with his usual flat delivery:
> "I said, 'Look, you seem nice, and I'm weirdly committed to this fake relationship we're having, but kissing's extra. I charge for that.'"
Ethan shrieked. Ava burst into wheezing laughter. I nearly fell off the bench.
"You absolute MENACE," I gasped.
"She laughed," Leo added, shrugging. "Told me I was funny. The ex left in a huff. She paid for the coffee and thanked me. That was it."
Ava wiped tears from her eyes. "You fake-dated a stranger and emotionally torpedoed her ex in one afternoon."
"Yeah," Leo said, stretching. "Didn't even get her name."
"You could've been murdered," Ethan shouted.
"But I wasn't," Leo pointed out calmly.
I groaned. "How does this keep happening to you?"
I groaned and flopped back into my chair. "Of course. Of course Leo would get fake-dated by a random stranger. And of course he'd just go along with it like it's a side quest in a dating sim."
Leo looked thoughtful. "Honestly, I feel like I leveled up my acting skill."
Ava slumped against me, still snorting. "You know what? I'm done. Reality bends for this man."
Ethan looked at the sky. "And meanwhile, I get stuck behind uncles in grocery lines who pay in coins."
Leo stood up and dusted off his jeans. "Anyway. Just thought I'd share. Might make the exam wait a little less painful."
And somehow, it did.
As Leo wandered off—probably to single-handedly resolve another stranger's life crisis—we sat in stunned silence.
"…You think she's gonna write a blog post about him?" I asked.
"She's probably writing fanfiction," Ava said.
Ethan just sighed. "I hope he at least got reward points for that coffee."
___
End of Chapter 25.