Ron was feeling bored, his usual activities no longer holding his interest. "It's so boring," he said to himself. "Maybe I should go back to dating."
Red Queen's holographic image appeared before him, her expression panicked. "Nooooo! I don't want the world to end again!"
Ron raised an eyebrow. "Why, Red Queen? Am I that bad of a lover?"
Red Queen's eyes rolled. "No, sir. Your dating choices are always out of line. First, you dated Death and almost had a multiversal war because of it. Do you remember that time you tried to woo her with a romantic dinner, and she ended up trying to kill you instead?"
Ron chuckled. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. But I did manage to escape with my life, didn't I?"
Red Queen continued. "Second, you tried hooking up with the Queen of Nevers and had a fight with Eternity that destroyed countless universes that you helped construct. And, of course, others had to ban you from dating another mans woman because if that happened, all cosmic beings would hunt you down."
Ron shrugged. "That was just a minor setback. I mean, what's a few universes destroyed between lovers, right?"
Red Queen's expression turned incredulous. "Third, you broke the heart of the Third Cosmos and almost made him give up his universe.
And fourth, you made Mistress Love unlove life just for you and left him, making the love of multiverse go haywire."
Ron grinned. "I'm a bit of a ladies' man, what can I say? I've got a way with the ladies... and the cosmic beings... and the Cosmic entity."
Red Queen's eyes widened. "Fifth, you dated a damn bird – the Phoenix Force. A bird, sir! You dated a bird, a flaming one! And don't even get me started on the time you tried to impress her with your 'cosmic dancing' and ended up setting the entire galaxy on fire."
Ron laughed. "Well, she was a hot bird. And hey, at least I tried to spice things up in the relationship."
Red Queen rolled her eyes. "Sir, I would not recommend you date again. If you do, please date a normal person. And, for the love of all things cosmic, please don't date another celestial being or a cosmic entity. Or a bird. Or anything that can destroy entire universes with a single glance."
Ron chuckled. "I'll try my best, Red Queen. But no promises. After all, I'm a cosmic ladies' man, and I won't let a little thing like the apocalypse get in my way."
Red Queen's expression turned sarcastic. "Oh, joy. I can already imagine the apocalypse that will ensue. 'Ron, the Destroyer of Universes' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
Ron grinned. "Hey, at least I'll go out with a bang."