As I stepped out of Jason's room, the cool air of the hospital corridors met my skin, but it did nothing to settle the warmth still lingering inside me.
Had that really just happened?
The kiss. The way his fingers had traced my skin like he was memorizing me. The way his voice had dropped, raw and certain, when he said those words. I love you.
Why hadn't I said anything? Why had I only let out that breath, that sigh that spoke of relief but not of answers? Had he understood what I meant? Had I?
I pressed my lips together, still feeling the ghost of his touch there. Could something so sudden feel this real? Was it too soon, or had we been leading to this from the moment he first said my name on that bus?
I didn't know.
But I knew I would be back the next day.
The thought was grounding, something solid amid the whirlwind of emotions I wasn't ready to untangle just yet.
And then, as I stepped outside, I saw Denise and Ash.
They were standing a few feet away, caught in something between a conversation and a moment. Ash had his hands in his pockets, leaning just slightly toward her, while Denise, ever unreadable, stood still watching him, listening.
He saw me and gave a small nod his usual playful expression replaced with something quieter.
"I was just about to leave," he said, glancing briefly at Denise before looking back at me.
Denise remained silent, her arms crossed, her face unreadable as always. But there was something in the way she stood. Like she was holding something back.
He turned back to Denise, as if expecting her to say something. She didn't.
After a beat, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. "Alright, I'll see you around."
Denise gave a small nod, nothing more.
I watched as he walked away, his hands still in his pockets, his shoulders slightly tense.
When he disappeared down the corridor, I turned to Denise. "What was that?"
She shrugged. "Nothing." But I knew better.
I didn't press, though. Not now. Because I knew Denise had his own troubles.
"Come on," she said, starting toward the exit. "We should get home."
Denise and I walked side by side, got into the cab and the hospital's glow faded behind. She had been quiet. Not the usual, comfortable silence but something different. It was in the way her arms remained crossed, in the way her eyes seemed fixed, lost in thought.
I knew Denise well enough to recognize when she was trying to push something away.
"So…" I began, my voice light but probing. "You and Ash?"
Her reaction was instant—a sharp look, a scoff, and the shake of her head. "There is no me and Ash."
I smiled. "Uh-huh. That's why you were standing there, staring at each other like the rest of the world didn't exist."
She sighed, exasperated, but she didn't deny it.
I let the silence stretch between us for a moment before I spoke again, softer this time. "You know, it's okay to let someone in."
Denise tensed slightly, her footsteps slowing just a little. She was quiet for a long moment, and when she finally spoke, her voice was lower, almost distant.
"I don't let people in." she muttered.
I turned my head toward her, watching as she kept her gaze forward, her expression unreadable.
Denise had never believed in relationships. Never believed in love, in family, in the idea that someone could stay. I couldn't blame her.
Her mother had left when she was just a child, disappearing without a second thought. Her father, drowning in alcohol, had never been the kind of man who could offer warmth or stability. It was her grandmother who had taken her in, who had given her the closest thing to a home. But by then, Denise had already learned that people leave. That love, no matter how sweet, was temporary.
She built her walls early, she built them high.
And now, Ash had somehow managed to slip through a crack she hadn't even realized was there.
"You like him," I said gently, more of an observation than a question.
She scoffed again, but there was no sharpness to it this time. If anything, it felt… tired. "It doesn't matter."
I frowned. "Why not?"
She glanced at me then, just for a second, before shaking her head. "Because feelings don't change anything Jan. In the end, people always leave."
Her words sat heavy between us, and for the first time tonight, I didn't know what to say.
I wanted to tell her she was wrong. That not everyone leaves. That love could be real, could be lasting.
But we were tired for more words. We took turns showering, the sound of running water filling the apartment in place of the conversation. Then we sat in the dim light of the living room, nibbling on snacks and sipping the soda we had picked on the way. The night stretched late, the silence between us feeling heavier.
Denise stood and went straight to her room, closing the door behind her. I knew better than to follow.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair before heading to the kitchen. The events of the day weighed on me, but beneath it all, there was something else. Something warmer.
The thought of Jason sent a flutter through me, unexpected but undeniable. I poured myself a glass of water, trying to shake the feeling, but my mind kept going back to him.
A soft step in the living area pulled me from my thoughts. I hesitated, then took a step closer, pressing my palm against the cool wood. "Den?"
Silence. Then, after a long pause…
"I'm fine, Jan." Her voice was steady, but I knew her well enough to hear what lingered beneath it.
I exhaled, leaning my forehead against the door for just a second before stepping away.
"Okay," I said quietly. "Goodnight."
No response.
I switched off the kitchen light and climbed into bed, phone in hand.
Would it be too much to text him?
I bit my lip, debating. Then, before I could second-guess myself, I typed out a message.
" Hey. Hope you're feeling okay. See you tomorrow."
I stared at the screen, waiting. A minute passed. Then another.
Just as I was about to set my phone down, it lit up.
"Hey. Can't wait to see you."
A small smile tugged at my lips.
My fingers moved before my brain could catch up. Before I even realized what I was doing, I had typed the words.
"I love you."
The second the message went through, my heart dropped.
"Oh my God," I whispered, staring at the screen in horror. "No, no, no—"
I flung my phone onto the bed like it was on fire, burying my face in my hands. What was I
thinking? I had just texted I love you to Jason?
My phone buzzed.
I froze. My pulse thundered in my ears. Slowly, as if it might explode, I reached for the device.
Jason: "Wow…"
I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. Of course, he wasn't expecting that!
Another message popped up.
Jason: "But… I appreciate it, Janica. A lot."
I screamed into my pillow, kicking my legs like a frustrated child before yanking the blanket over my head. Why did I do that?!
My phone buzzed again, but I couldn't bring myself to look. Not yet. I needed a moment to recover from my own overwhelming feelings.
Jason
I stared at my phone, my heart pounding. The message sat there. "I love you too" sent. But there was no reply. No typing indicator.
I let my head fall back against the pillow, closing my eyes. And there she was.
The way she looked that morning on the bus—poised, effortless, yet completely unaware of how she captivated me. Her dark, well-toned skin, glowing even in the soft morning light. The way her blouse hugged her just right, the curve of her waist teasing my self-control.
She wasn't trying to be alluring, but damn, she was.
Her scent clean, subtle, but unforgettable. Her lips, slightly parted as she breathed, tempting without even knowing it. And those legs… long, firm, crossing smoothly as she settled into her seat.
Everything about her turned me on. Everything.
I groaned, gripping my pillow.
She had no idea what she did to me. And now that I knew she loved me too?
I was done for.
I exhaled sharply, forcing myself to shake off the thoughts running wild in my head. My body was tense, my mind restless, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
She loved me. She had said it.
That should have brought me peace, but instead, it only made me want her more.
I let out a slow breath, turning onto my side. The hospital room was quiet, the faint hum of machines the only sound. My phone was still in my hand, but I didn't check it again.
With Janica on my mind, her voice, her scent, the way she felt so damn close even when she wasn't, I finally let sleep take over.
A steady vibration in my hand pulled me from sleep. I blinked against the soft morning lights filtering through the curtains, my body still heavy with sleep. The phone puzzled again.
Ash.
I answered, my voice rough. "Yeah?"
"Morning, man," Ash greeted his voice calm.
I exhaled. "Morning."
"You good?" His tone was casual, but I knew him well enough to hear a concern underneath.
I stretched slightly, I was getting well miraculously "Yeah. Better."
"Denise," he said, his voice unreadable. "Who's she?"
I ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know much, honestly. We've only met twice, here at the hospital. She's Janica's roommate." Another pause.
I sat up slightly. "Why?"
He was quiet for a moment. Then late out a slow breath, "Man…"
"Sounds like you saw a ghost," I smirked.
"Worse," he mattered. "I think I met my match."
That made me sit up a little. "Come again?"
"You ever met someone who looks right through you? Like they already know what you're about, and they're not impressed?"
I chuckled. "Denise did that to you?"
"Bro, she didn't even try," He said, sounding almost offended. "I was standing there, talking, thinking maybe, Just maybe I could get a reaction. A smirk, an eye roll, hell, even a glare. You know what I got?"
I was enjoying this way too much. "Nothing?"
"Nothing," he confirmed.
I laughed. "That's rough."
"Rough?" Ash scoffed.
"Jason, I charm old ladies at the market for fun. I get free sodas from the shopkeeper just by existing. I have never met someone who could look at me like I was just… air."
I shook my head, still grinning. "Sounds like she got to you."
"Got to me?" He repeated, as if the idea was ridiculous. "Nah, man. She just different. She actually doesn't care. And that's interesting."
I hummed. "Interesting enough to make you try harder?"
There was a pause. Then, a low laugh. "I don't know, man. She's not the type you just try with. You either step up, or you step out. And I don't even know if I want to step in." That was the most serious I had ever heard Ash talk about a girl. "Huh."
"Yeah," he muttered. Then his voice shifted back to normal. "Anyway, we are coming to see you in a bit. Try not to look pathetic when we get there."
I shook my head. "Yeah, alright. I'll be here."
Ash hang up without another word.