Janica
I woke up, my mind still in that hazy space between dreaming and reality. A soft beam of morning light slipped through the curtains, brushing against my face as I stirred awake. There was a rare stillness in me. No ache, no heaviness, no lingering shadows of bad dreams, just peace. A kind of lightness I hadn't felt in a long time. I blinked, stretching my arm out lazily to grab my phone from the nightstand just to check time.
The moment I picked it up, my breath caught.
There, glowing against the screen, was a message I hadn't seen last night.
"I love you too."
My heart stilled, then thundered, a slow deep ache rising in my chest. I could feel it in my throat, in my fingertips, as I exhaled.
For a moment, I just stared at the words, my fingers frozen around the phone. I had sent him a message last night, spilling the feelings I wasn't even sure I had the courage to say out loud yet. And he had replied. He had actually replied.
A rush of emotions swirled inside me. Excitement, nervousness, something dangerously close to pure happiness.
Just a better way to start a day.
A knock on my door startled me, pulling me back to reality, but the warmth in my chest remained. I exhaled slowly, my lip curving, into a soft, involuntary smile.
I swung my legs off the bed and walked to the door, still gripping my phone. As I opened it, Denise stood there, her gaze sharp and curious.
She raised an eyebrow. "What's that smile?"
I hadn't even realized I was smiling. My fingers tightened around my phone as Jason's words echoed in my mind.
I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Nothing."
Denise's eyes narrowed. "Liar."
I just laughed softly, shaking my head as I stepped aside to let her in. She walked straight to my bed and sat down, her shoulders sinking slightly.
I watched her for a moment, noticing how quiet she'd suddenly become. Usually, she'd keep teasing me until I gave in, but this time, she just stared ahead, lost in thought. I sat beside her, nudging her gently. "What's up?"
Denise let out a slow breath, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "I've got a lot on my mind," she murmured. "I don't even know how to handle it."
I tilted my head, studying her face. "Is it about Ash?" I asked gently.
Denise sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah," she admitted.
I stayed quiet for a moment, letting her speak if she wanted to. Denise wasn't the type to open up easily, and I knew better than to push too hard.
"You wanna talk about it?" I asked carefully.
She exhaled, her gaze fixed on the floor. "I don't even know where to start."
A beat of silence stretched between us before she sighed again, quieted this to me.
"I think I need a break. To go see Grandma."
I nodded, keeping my voice light. "That might be a good idea. Some time away could help clear your mind."
She gave a small, tired smile. "Yeah… maybe." But something in her tone made me wonder if she was trying to convince me or herself.
I studied her for a moment, then stood. "Come on," I said, stretching my arms. "Let me make us some coffee."
She didn't protest, just nodded slightly, still lost in thought.
I walked to the kitchen, the familiar rhythm of preparing coffee feeling oddly comforting. As the rich aroma filled the air, a memory surfaced. My mother standing by this very counter, her soft hum blending with the gentle clink of a spoon against porcelain. I could almost hear her voice, warm and steady, telling me to start the day with a deep breath and a clear mind.
I exhaled slowly, letting the scent of coffee wrap around me like an embrace. Glancing back toward my room, I wondered just how much was weighing on Denise's mind.
I handed her a mug, and she took it with a quiet, "Thanks," her fingers curling around the warmth as if drawing comfort from it.
We sat in silence, sipping our coffee. Whatever was on her mind, I knew she'd talk when she was ready. For now, this was enough.
I took a sip, savoring the heat before setting my mug down. "By the way," I said, glancing at her, "I was thinking of going to see Jason when he gets discharged today."
Denise lifted her eyes from her cup. "Oh?"
I nodded. "Yeah… I just want to see him outside the hospital, you know? In a different setting."
Denise smirked slightly, the seriousness in her face lifting just a little. "You mean you want to see him as your Jason, not just a patient in a hospital bed?"
I rolled my eyes, but my lips betrayed me with a small smile. "Maybe."
She chuckled softly, shaking her head as she took another sip. "Well, you should. He'd probably love that."
I pulled my phone closer, my heart already racing a little as I typed out a message.
"Good morning. I hope you slept well. I can't wait to see you today." I read it over, feeling warmth spread through me, then hit send.
Denise, still sipping her coffee, shot me a knowing look. "You just texted him, didn't you?" I bit my lip, fingers still resting on my phone. "Yeah."
She smirked. "You're in deep."
I just smiled, my heart fluttering. Maybe I was. But I didn't mind falling.
A soft vibration in my hand made my breath catch. I glanced down, and there it was,
Jason's reply.
"Good morning. Can't wait to see you. I've been thinking about you."
A slow, sweet warmth spread through me, making my fingers tighten around my phone. I bit my lip, unable to stop the smile tugging at my lips.
I wanted to reply immediately, to say something clever or sweet, but my mind was a mess of emotions. Instead, I set my phone down, gripping my coffee mug with both hands as if the warmth could steady me.
Denise, who had been quietly watching me, smirked over her cup. "You're blushing."
I scoffed. "I am not."
I groaned, pressing my palm against my cheek as if that would somehow erase whatever look was on my face. Denise just chuckled, taking another sip of her coffee.
But then, as quickly as her amusement came, it faded. She stared down at her cup, swirling the coffee absentmindedly.
I nudged her. "You're thinking about him again, aren't you?"
She didn't look up. "Yeah."
I hesitated before speaking. "What exactly about Ash is bothering you?"
She let out a slow breath, shaking her head slightly. "It's not just him. It's me. It's…" She exhaled sharply, frustration flickering across her face. "I don't know how to do this."
I frowned. "Do what?"
Denise finally looked at me, her expression unreadable. "Feel like this about someone."
I leaned back, choosing my words carefully. "You don't even have to label it. Just… let yourself feel."
Denise let out a quiet laugh, but there was no humor in it. "Let myself feel?" She shook her head. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of."
Silence settled between us, thick and unspoken.
Denise sighed beside me. "I think I'll go see Grandma today."
I nodded, understanding what she wasn't saying.
She needed space.
She needed clarity.
She needed to step away before she lost herself in something she wasn't ready for.
My phone vibrated again.
Jason: "Come. I don't want to wait any longer."
I swallowed, my fingers gripping the phone tighter.
Because neither did I.
I glanced at Denise. "Are you sure about this? Leaving?"
She hesitated her fingers playing with the edge of her sleeve. "No." She exhaled sharply then stood. "But if I stay, I'll just keep running in circles. I need to clear my head."
I nodded, watching her closely. "You'll come back, right?"
She paused by the doorway, her lips pressings into a thin line before she smirked. "Who else is going to keep you from making a complete fool of yourself from Jason?"
I laughed shaking my head. "You're impossible."
She winked. "And you are predictable, now go and get your man."
I didn't need to be told twice.
I headed straight for the bathroom, my mind racing, my body thrumming with energy.
I let out a slow, steady breath as the warm water streamed down my body.
"Then come. I don't want to wait any longer."
I pressed my lips together, my heart skipping a beat. There was no hesitation in his message, no second-guessing. Just want. Just him waiting for me.
And I wanted him just as much.
I reached for my lavender scented body wash, the lather gliding over my skin as I took my time, knowing that today, this moment, was different. Every movement felt intentional, every touch against my skin a reminder that I wanted to look and feel my absolute best.
By the time I stepped out, the mirror was fogged up, but I could still see the excitement in my reflection. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked into my room, my fingers already trailing over my wardrobe handle.
A slow smirk played on my lips as I pulled the doors open.
I didn't want to just look good, I wanted to knock Jason off his feet.
I scanned my options, finally settling on something that felt both effortless and dangerous. A black, fitted dress that hugged every curve, smooth and soft against my skin. Not too revealing, but enough to make Jason's pulse spike the moment he saw me.
I paired it with sleek heels, adding just a hint of gold jewelry, a delicate necklace resting right at my collarbone, teasing the space where his eyes might linger.
I kept my makeup subtle just enough to enhance, not overpower. A touch of gloss on my lips and a swipe of mascara to make my eyes stand out.
By the time I was finished, I took a step back, assessing myself in the mirror.
Damn.
Denise passed by my doorway just then, pausing mid-step. Her brows lifted, and then, a slow grin spread across her face.
"Oh, Jason is so dead."
I laughed, grabbing my purse. "That's the plan."
Without another second of hesitation, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
I stepped outside, the cool air brushing against my skin as I pulled my phone out to request a cab. My fingers hovered for a second before I finally tapped the screen, my heart already pounding.
The wait felt longer than it should have. My thoughts kept drifting to him.
To the way he looked at me when I was in his hospital room. The soft, lingering warmth in his eyes.
And then the kiss.
My breath hitched just remembering it.
The way Jason's fingers had slid into my hair, pulling me closer, his lips pressing against mine with something that felt like urgency, like need. The way he had deepened it, as if he wanted to consume every breath between us.
Even now, just thinking about it sent a slow heat curling through me.
I exhaled, gripping my purse tighter.
A soft beep pulled me from my thoughts.
The cab had arrived.
I slid into the backseat, gave the driver the hospital's location, then leaned back against the seat. My fingers absentmindedly traced the edge of my dress, my mind still caught in memories of Jason.
After what felt like forever, the cab slowed to a stop outside the hospital.
I inhaled deeply, my pulse quickening as I reached for the door handle. The nerves hit me all at once not for fear but anticipation.
Stepping out, I strengthened my dress, smoothing my hands down my side before glancing up at the tall building. He was in there. Waiting. Wanting me to come.
I paid the driver quickly, barely registering his polite nod before turning towards the entrance.