I often have random dreams on cool nights. Sometimes I dream I'm flying like a superhero, other times I dream that I'm eating and I drop my chopsticks, waking up with a growling stomach. But that night, my dream was unusually calm. In my dream, I saw her again.
She – the girl I had liked since the final years of school. We weren't close, didn't meet often, but whenever we did, it felt as soothing as standing in the early morning sun. She often smiled, a smile as soft as falling leaves, and every time I saw her, I'd freeze like a fool. So much so that once, my best friend said, "Hey, are you okay? She's already gone, and you're still standing there like a lamppost!"
Yes, I liked her. Quietly, over time.
In that dream, I wasn't the fool I was in real life. I called her over, sat down at a small café by the street, and said everything I had kept to myself for years, things I had only dared to write on paper and then tear up. She didn't laugh at me, didn't avoid me, just sat in silence for a moment before smiling and nodding gently. And in that dream, I had her – soft and peaceful, like her own smile.
We roamed the streets, took a bus ride, ate ice cream, and chatted about everything from movies to cats, from books to... ink stains on my sleeve. I remember it clearly, because everything in the dream was as bright as daylight. I even remember the faint scent of her hair when the wind blew past Long Bien Bridge.
I woke up before dawn. The room was still the same, empty and quiet. She wasn't there. But the feeling lingered – the feeling of holding the hand of someone you love, even if only in a dream.
I don't know why I dreamt like that. Maybe it was because I happened to see her post a picture of herself drinking bubble tea yesterday. Maybe it was because I missed her so much that I dreamt of her. Or maybe… the heavens were kind, and gave me a chance to live in a version of reality I had imagined a hundred times.
I sat on the bed for a long while, then muttered, "If only… that dream were real."
But dreams can't be repeated on demand, just like people – you can't always meet again just because you want to. So I just smiled softly, stood up, and began a new day – carrying with me the gentle feeling still lingering from a dream without an after.