But no she was not.she was hungry for my life.its first started by her involving herself in my daily decisions she would help me out with my dressscode.before I would just wear anything that was available but now that I started communicating and asking questions to my dear friend who was i.she assisted me in my dress code I went from dressing any colour I longed for to wearing all black.
Nina I called her she dressed just like me when we first met.i had worn my pink jumpsuit which I had worn the night before and I was now checking my self in the mirror yet again just like any other day.as I was brushing my face with my hands I saw a bit of movement on the surface of the mirror.i assumed it's was just my imagination.
As I looked directly on the mirror ,she looked back at me.I looked back at her in disguise,I hated myself.i felt like I was not pretty at all which is why I did not like looking at myself at the mirror but I just couldn't stop .it's like I was obligated to do so,as if I did not the day would not go on at all.
Mommy loved looking at herself in the mirror ,she would spend hour and hours gazing at her own reflection which was nothing compared to mine.She kept alot of things by her mirror,things that made her look even more beautiful than she already was.since she was obsessed with the mirror she made a rule that we should pass by the mirror before we could head out to our different destinations.
I looked at her ,she looked at me then she smiled.i raised my eyebrows as I was waiting for confirmation to what had happened.she smiled back and I immediately took a step back whilst frightened by the turn of events.she questioned my behaviour 'why are you running away' she said.
I ran back at my bedroom and put my clothes on without wasting any time.i did not consider bathing at all,I just wanted to be away and far from that mirror which haunted me.i remember telling our mother on our way to school but she laughed at me like I was being naive.mother did not take anything seriously unless it's had to do with makeup,to her as long as the mirror was not broken she was fine.
I laughed back at myself while my mother laughed at me,I felt stupid for telling her especially since I knew that she would inform everyone in the evening and they would all laugh at me.i started to feel like maybe I was naive after all,I could have probably been dizzy after all I did have a rocky night of constant nightmares.
My days were not fine at all on those days.i was being bullied at school for not looking pretty enough everyone would normally laugh at me as I was being bullied.no one seem to sympathise with me,no one cared to involve them selves.
Even when mother finally dropped me of at school on that day I had to hide from a group of people who used to bully me as I made my way through.i was constantly feeling scarred that I would run on to someone who will then make the rest of the day unbearable for me.
I was in class learning and doing alright just when vusi poured water on my chair as I was standing up to answer the teacher.when I finally sat back on the chair I was left embarrassed.by then the whole class was staring at me ready to see me breakdown.I tried so hard to hold my self but I just couldn't,I was so tired of the constant bullying that I finally broke down and cried.The class roared in laughter as I sat on my wet chair.
What was I to do,I was in a class full of people who disliked me to their core.They rejoiced in my sadness .I wondered why they hated me so much ,why they wanted to see me suffer .I was hopeless and powerless I had no chance against them at all even if I tried.i did not want to compromise my education.
Even when the teacher asked them as to who had done that none answered,he suspected vusi and questioned him but he insisted that he was asleep.Even teacher could not help me,he had no power to punish vusi without evidence.I was devastated as I spent the rest of the day in my wet bottoms,I longed for afternoon so that I could go back home.
I had finally forgotten about my morning when I finally arrived home.what happened at school took my full attention.i wanted all to end as soon as possible,I knew that I was drained so much .
The rest of the family came back after I had spent an hour alone.They started undressing ,bathing and preparing for our dinner .we normally had our dinner together as a family.we would normally sit on a long table which had multiple chairs.it was just me ,mom and my brothers.i had two brothers who were very humble ,they were both twins.
My parents had been divorced.They divorced soon after my birth.I was told that they had a big conflict which challenged their marriage hence they decided on getting a divorce.we would normally visit my father on some occasions but I visited him less.my mother would claim that she loved spending more time with me since I was a female just like her.
After we were finally sitting and ready to eat,mother asked about each of our day at school and I lied to her and said that I had a blast.